Thursday, March 28, 2024

Master Of Fortune Cookie Writing Quits Because Of Writer’s Block

The man responsible for the best part of every Chinese takeout meal, the fortune cookie, has quit his post. He’s got a serious case of writer’s block.

Donald Lau has worked as the “Chief Fortune Writer” at Wonton Food — one of the largest fortune cookie distributors in the game — for 30 years.

He used to crank out 100 fortunes a year, but now only feels inspired for two or three fortunes a month. It’s easy to imagine that the burnout rate for writing tiny koans and quips that go into free cookies as your full-time job is pretty high, but that’s not the entire problem with Lau’s creative block. He told Time that a shift in the industry is partially to blame for killing his mojo:

“In the ’80s, when Lau first landed the role at the Queens and Brooklyn-based company, cookie fortunes were, well, fortuitous (think: “A dream you have will come true”). But today, he says, the premium is on new, inspirational sayings that promote Yogi tea bag-style well-being.”

So, if you’ve noticed your own fortune cookies lately have shifted from the more astrological, “You will battle a great foe who is sitting at this table with you RIGHT NOW” style of predictions, to the shitty faux-encouragement of Hallmark cards – that “Your greatest foe is within you” silliness – it’s not just you, but the whole cookie market changing.

“When they eat their fortune cookie, I want the customers to open the fortune, read it, maybe laugh, and leave the restaurant happy so that they come back again next week,” Lau said, according to the New York Post. And dammit, he just can’t find that spark anymore.

But there is some sweet to this sour story: He isn’t bailing out of his love for fortune cookies forever. He’s focusing on being Wonton Food’s Chief Financial Officer full-time. Hopefully he brings back the fortune-telling spirit of cookies with his new power.


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