Monday, March 27, 2023

Great Moments In 2016: Someone Left Their Drugs At Sam’s Club

Sam’s Club is an overwhelming place. Under the same aluminum warehouse roof, you can get a new TV, a bike, a sofa sectional, alongside palettes of toilet paper and frozen pizzas large enough to sustain a Mormon commune for months. Add to that a low-grade sense of doomsday-prepper panic and children climbing the shelves of dog food like Lost Boys, and you’re getting closer to the vibe of a typical Saturday at Sam’s.

It’s easy to imagine, then, how one might lose a tiny bag of cocaine amongst the chaos. Police were called to a Sam’s Club in Springettsbury Township, Pennsylvania over the weekend, according to the York Daily Record, where a baggie of white powder was found near the cash registers. The cops are asking its rightful owner to give them a ring at (717) 757-3525.

Considering that possession of cocaine is a misdemeanor in PA, carrying a one-year sentence and/ or $5,000 in fines, whoever left their baggie at the checkout probably won’t be calling Lost and Found for it. But damn, that must have been an intense shopping trip.



Sexual Afterglow: What It Is And Why It’s Actually Good For You

Most adults know what I’m talkin’ about when we’re talkin’ about sexual afterglow. It’s that warm and fuzzy feeling in the hours after getting intimate.

Don't Miss Your Weekly Dose of The Fresh Toast.

Stay informed with exclusive news briefs delivered directly to your inbox every Friday.

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.