Monday, March 27, 2023

Great Moments In 2016: Someone Left Their Drugs At Sam’s Club

Sam’s Club is an overwhelming place. Under the same aluminum warehouse roof, you can get a new TV, a bike, a sofa sectional, alongside palettes of toilet paper and frozen pizzas large enough to sustain a Mormon commune for months. Add to that a low-grade sense of doomsday-prepper panic and children climbing the shelves of dog food like Lost Boys, and you’re getting closer to the vibe of a typical Saturday at Sam’s.

It’s easy to imagine, then, how one might lose a tiny bag of cocaine amongst the chaos. Police were called to a Sam’s Club in Springettsbury Township, Pennsylvania over the weekend, according to the York Daily Record, where a baggie of white powder was found near the cash registers. The cops are asking its rightful owner to give them a ring at (717) 757-3525.

Considering that possession of cocaine is a misdemeanor in PA, carrying a one-year sentence and/ or $5,000 in fines, whoever left their baggie at the checkout probably won’t be calling Lost and Found for it. But damn, that must have been an intense shopping trip.

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