Tuesday, March 28, 2023

The Pros And Cons Of Flying While Baked

Getting high makes a lot things better: eating, for example, or listening to music, or taking a walk on a nice day. It also—for some of us at least—makes certain things worse, like meeting important new people for the first time or going to the dentist. Flying is neither inherently pleasant or awful to do while baked. So really, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s right to toke up before catching your cab to the airport, but if you’re unsure we’re here to help you weigh the pros and cons.

Pro: People Watching

Airports are full of all sorts of people you probably don’t see during your average day. You see the old and the young, and all kinds of races, religions, body sizes, and personal styles. Some people are happy and excited to be going wherever they’re headed; others are frustrated at having to be away from home. Put it all together and you have a fascinating mixture to observe, and nothing helps observing people more than a bit of pot.

Con: Security

TSA checkpoints can be hell. Long lines, law enforcement, radiation-spraying X-Ray equipment, the nagging concern that you somehow accidentally packed/left something illegal in one of your bags—these are all things that can not just ruin a good buzz, but can also send you spiraling into deep paranoia. Our advice: Spring for Pre-Check if you can and remind yourself that the TSA agents aren’t onto you, no matter how high you think you look. Relax, man.

Pro: The Security Dogs

These are good dogs, as long as you don’t actually have drugs on you. Still, don’t try to pet them.

Con: Carrying Around All Your Stuff

If you’re lugging two bags to avoid paying extra to check anything, you have valuable stuff with you that you could, in a fit of blazed forgetfulness, potentially leave behind at security or in one of those news stores.

Pro: The Painful Boarding Process

Boarding planes can take forever and be very stressful. Why not keep your headphones in and enjoy the process because you’re so pleasantly chilled out from all the cannabis you consumed just before arriving at the airport? Seems like a good plan to us.

Con: Making It To Your Gate

If you get too stoned, you might get so distracted by all the food options and little stores and people watching that you miss your flight. Try your best not to do this, but if it does happen we hope you at least enjoyed yourself first.

Pro: The Food Courts

Sure, the dining options in most airports aren’t great, but sometimes you luck into a delicious regional speciality, like Shake Shack or Chick Fil-A. Even if you don’t, nothing makes mediocre food more tolerable like a little bit of weed.

Pro: Flying Through the Air Like You’re a Damn Bird or Astronaut 

Fuck yeah.

As you can see, the Pros outweigh the Cons, for us at least. Happy Holidays.

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