This summer, you can take your pick of one of the testicle festivals happening around the country—if you have the balls, that is.
Testicle festivals generally celebrate the testes of turkeys. They’re located inside the bird’s body cavity (which explains why you’ve probably never seen one, um, raw). They’re grilled, deep fried, and celebrated alongside tons of other barbecue delicacies and down-home treats.
As the LA Times reported from the festival in Dunlap, California:
Cary Forehand bragged that his deep-fried turkey testicles were outselling the classic grilled ones, 8 to 1. It took a while to get the recipe right, Forehand said. He finally settled on cornmeal, flour and three kinds of salt: garlic, Lawry’s and Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning. Signs warned that they were fried in peanut oil. At least 200 people were there, playing horseshoes, dancing to country music and browsing through booths selling items like the pink hat with “Keepin’ It Rural” handwritten in silver glitter-glue. Organizers said heavier advertising had brought in what they considered to be a big crowd this year.
You might catch a bikini or best mustache competition, depending on the one you’re lucky enough to attend.
If you’re ready to get nuts, there’s a chance you have one near you: Places known for their testicle festivals include the oldest-running fest in Byron, Illinois, as well as others held in Deerfield, Michigan; Olean, Missouri; Tiro, Ohio; Oakdale, California; Huntley, Illinois; Stillwater, Oklahoma; Salmon, Idaho; Clinton, Montana and Fargo, North Dakota.
It still doesn’t beat Japan’s festival of the penis, but it’s slightly more tempting than Colorado’s Frozen Dead Guy Days. At least these balls are warm.
