Thursday, March 4, 2021
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Introducing Our New Potiquette Column: Can I Get A Little Pot With That Pie?

Dear Ms. Pot,

The other night, I was at a dinner party hosted by a woman I recently started dating. I know she smokes pot because we’d shared a joint on the beach last weekend. But she didn’t offer up any pot at her party. She had wine and whiskey and these wonderful little meatballs… but I digress. When she brought out a lemon meringue pie for dessert, I wanted to ask if she had any weed to go with it. Would that have been weird?

Yours in California,

Pie High

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Dear PH,

Well, it wouldn’t have been weird to ask if she had any pot at her supper party. Weird would’ve been if you had, like, stripped down during the cheese course claiming you were too hot, or started licking her best friend’s face, or popped a tab of acid and begun constructing Ikea furniture.

But asking a host for pot at an intimate party—whether you’re newly sleeping with her or not —would be rude. Where are your manners? Would you go to someone’s house, survey the hummus and veggie spread and ask if they happen to have any Harbison Cellars cheese on hand? If someone hands you a Moscow Mule in an icy copper mug (that, c’mon, you know she specifically bought for the occasion), would you snub it and say, eh, I was hoping for a gin-and-tonic instead?

You’re an adult now. An adult who gets invited to dinner parties. By hot women you maybe even kind of like.

Just because someone likes to cook and occasionally smoke pot doesn’t mean it’s always on her menu. Asking for it is kind of like a four-year-old whining for ice cream. It also reeks a liittttttle too much, I imagine, of your old 19-year-old self. Back when you probably busted into your buddy’s frat room, saying, “Dude, where’s your bong?”

You’re an adult now. An adult who gets invited to dinner parties. By hot women you maybe even kind of like. Don’t F it up by acting like a stoner who can’t chitchat his way through a supper with strangers without sparking up.

With Love and Meringue,

Ms. Pot

 

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