This word has the potential to ruin your relationship over the long haul. Do yourself and your partner a favor and steer clear of it.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to enjoy and appreciate your partner and to avoid petty fights. As we all know, relationships aren’t damaged by actions alone. According to experts, there are seemingly harmless words we should avoid whenever possible.
When we’re in a relationship, we quickly learn to steer clear from certain negative words, those that can harm our partners or terminate our relationship all together. But, there is one specific word that rears its ugly head often, and we’ve likely all used it without thinking twice. This word can slowly chip away at our relationships without us even realizing it.
According to experts, this word is “should.”
“Expectations that are attached to ‘shoulds’ are often rooted in unrealistic beliefs, unvocalized needs, or judgments regarding how a partner believes the other person should behave,” sex therapist Natalie Finegood Goldberg explained to Best Life.”The reason this is problematic is ’cause it’s equivalent to finger-pointing, which tends to be critical and elicit defensiveness.”
While the word is utilized in our daily lives with various people, it’s usually not meant as a “positive” when when used in our relationships; it’s often brought up in negative scenarios, like when one partner isn’t satisfied with the other, or when the state of the relationship is causing stress.
Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other day spent in close quarters, it’s important to periodically check in on how you’re communicating with your partner, and whether you’re intentionally or unintentionally harming them with your words. It’s completely natural and beneficial to have expectations in your relationships, but the way in which you communicate this is pivotal.
Steer clear of trouble this Valentine’s Day. Buy some flowers and order some food. Try your best to have a good time. But don’t point fingers unless you’re calling dibs on a chocolate truffle.