Friday, March 29, 2024

Maid of Honor Chugs Fireball, Steals Car, Punches Guest, Exposes Self

Being a maid of honor at a wedding can be stressful, but the pressure is no excuse to down nearly an entire bottle of cinnamon-flavored liquor before stealing the best man’s car (nearly running over him in the process), as a Florida woman allegedly did last weekend.

Maid of honor Amanda Willis reportedly made it through David and Jennifer Butler’s ceremony before hitting the bottle as the new couple had their first dance and their cake. She quickly got shitfaced

“She was a mess,” guest Robert Templeton told NBC 2. “She drank almost a whole entire bottle of Fireball.”

“She was drunk within 20 minutes to half an hour,” the bride added.

After finishing her Fireball, Willis allegedly began demanding car keys from other guests before taking keys from the pocket of the best man and taking off in his car, nearly hitting him over in the process.

“She took off, and his feet were dragging across the ground. He had to hit the E-brake,” Templeton said. Eventually guests dragged her from the car, at which point she ran back inside.

“She grabbed up the big bottle of Captain Morgan and just guzzled it like this,” Butler said.

Willis then allegedly attacked Templeton, at which point the police were called. As she was being arrested, she reportedly claimed she was having an asthma attack and began showing signs that she was having a seizure, so deputies took her to a local hospital where she NBC2 reports she “exposed herself to deputies, assaulted two medics and kicked over her bed pan, according to the sheriff’s office.”

She was arrested and faces charges of larceny, battery, grand theft of a motor vehicle, and violation of probation. Worst of all she and Butler are, unsurprisingly, no longer friends.

Willis has earned a spot in the Florida Man/Woman hall of fame, alongside the man who rode a manatee, the man who broke into a house to pet a cat, and the naked man who was arrested with an electronic device attached to his penis.

[soliloquy id=”24584″]

MUST READ

Maybe The New James Bond Should Update With Marijuana

There is a new face, but maybe the new James Bond should update with marijuana. After all, it isn't the 50s anymore.

MORE BY THIS AUTHOR

5 Great Thanksgiving Movies To Watch On Turkey Day

It’s Thanksgiving time! Soon you’ll be bombarded with intrusive family members, tons of delicious food, and—hopefully—enough booze to get you through it all.

Don't Miss Your Weekly Dose of The Fresh Toast.

Stay informed with exclusive news briefs delivered directly to your inbox every Friday.

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.