Pennsylvania, once the land of the infamous Swiss Cheese Masturbator, now has another (alleged) publicly self-pleasuring menace to look out for, except this time the accused perp is a cop.
The Morning Call reports that on Wednesday morning, after finishing his night shift, Bethlehem patrolman Glenn C. Woolard allegedly pulled down his basketball shorts and began masturbating as he drove home. A woman driving past him looked over and saw him “waving [his penis] around,” according to court documents, after which she followed him, took down his plate number, and called the police.
Not long after, officers responded to Woolard’s home, where they found the car described by the woman and Woolard himself, still dressed in the basketball shorts. What’s more is his car matched the description of a similar public exposure case from the week prior, in a Target parking lot. From the Morning Call:
A 49-year-old woman called state police at 10:44 a.m. Sept. 27 after seeing a man masturbating in the parking lot of the Target and Dick’s Sporting Goods at 749 Krocks Road.
The woman said she was shopping, and when she returned to her car, she saw a man in a blue car next to hers exposing and touching himself. She said the man had his car windows down “as if he wanted to be seen.” She said she left and called police.
Woolard reportedly confessed to both crimes, but claims he was touching himself not for sexual gratification but to “stimulate himself and stay awake while driving home from work.” Sure.
The 35-year-old officer has been suspended from duty and will face additional disciplinary action, according to Bethlehem Police Chief Mark DiLuzio. He’s also been charged with two counts of indecent exposure and disorderly conduct.
