Celebrity never dies. Or at least it’s a self-sustaining life force. One of those two statements is true, especially when considering the new cast of ABC’s hit show Dancing With The Stars.
The show debuted its new cast on a Good Morning America segment, and the dancing stars all seemed excited. The biggest names that immediately pop out include USA Swimmer/Rio Bad Boy Ryan Lochte, former Texas governor Rick Perry, and model/thirst trap Amber Rose. As Kanye might say, “I see you, Amber.”
But perhaps all the names don’t ring a bell. That’s okay. We’re here to provide a short explanation of who or where each of these celebrities came from. Here are all the pairs competing for the Mirror Ball Trophy this time around:
- USA Olympic Swimmer Ryan Lochte and Cheryl Burke: Joining DWTS is a pretty blatant media redemption move for Lochte, who you almost certainly know after the international incident he started at the Rio Olympics this summer. Pro tip to ABC producers: Don’t leave him alone in the bathroom.
- USA Olympic Gymnast Laurie Hernandez and Valentin Chmerkovskiy: Hernandez was part of the women’s All-Around team that won gold in Rio. She also earned an individual silver in women’s beam.
- Former child star Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson: Disney channel fans will recognize Austin as Max Russo from the Wizards of Waverly Place, but Austin also voiced Diego from Dora the Explorer, a fact I certainly looked up and didn’t know already…
- Little Women: LA reality star Terra Jole and Sasha Farber: Jole both stars in and executive produces the Lifetime reality show that documents the world of little people.
- Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry and Emma Slater: You likely remember Perry from his two presidential bids for the White House. Then again, maybe you don’t: Perry dropped out of the race early both times.
- Reality star Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Here are the official titles the ABC press release bequeathed Amber Rose: proud mother, activist, entrepreneur, spokesperson, talk show host, model, actor and published author. Take that at its face value. Anyone who’s listened to Kanye’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy might know her a bit differently, though.
- Former pro football player Calvin Johnson and Lindsay Arnold: Calvin Johnson retired from football startlingly early in his career, so that he may live a long and healthy life. A commendable reason. But who knew the life “Megatron” wanted to lead included Dancing with the Stars?
- Former rapper Vanilla Ice and Witney Carson: If this team doesn’t dance at least three times to “Ice Ice Baby” then why even participate?
- Music genius Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds and Allison Holker: Baby introduced the musical stylings of TLC, OutKast, Usher, Toni Braxton, and himself into the world. This man can do whatever he wants.
- Actress Marilu Henner and Derek Hough: Henner is best known for her starring role as Elaine in the late 70s sitcom Taxi.
- Former child star Maureen McCormick and Artem Chigvintsev: Can Marcia Brady dance? McCormick also had a successful film career and wrote a memoir, but playing the eldest Brady daughter is what we all know her for.
- Race car driver James Hinchcliffe and Sharna Burgess: Hinchcliffe is a pretty popular Indy car driver, but that he’s dancing following a gruesome practice crush at 2015 Indianapolis 500 is pretty astounding.
- Country singer Jana Kramer and Gleb Savchenko: Kramer has had a successful country music career, but is also well-known for her role as Alex Dupre in CW’s One Tree Hill.