Monday, May 20, 2024

Drake Visits Drake University, Students Fear He’s A Killer Clown

For some time now, Drake University has been asking—pleading? begging?—for rapper Drake to visit their campuses. The pitch makes sense. It’s like being at a dinner party and someone works in a similar field or has the same name. “Drake, meet Drake,” a mutual party might introduce.

Ahead of his nearby Des Moines, Iowa show, part of his Summer Sixteen Tour, Drake U was doing everything they can (i.e. posting on social media) to convince Drake to visit.

Drake didn’t make an appearance, though. Sometimes, the world doesn’t work in your favor. The students were crushed.

He did, however, show some love during the concert, sporting some of the school’s gear. A nice treat from Drake, you might say.

But Drake, if nothing else, is a showman. Waiting until the dead of night, when most students were likely asleep, Drake visited the university, posing for some pictures. The students had unwittingly completed their mission of #BringDraketoDrake. A rousing success, you might say.

That’s not all. Drake of course found some sorority houses and posted outside with his crew. Their aim: surprise some of the girls and let their dreams come true. But the girls did not answer in both cases.

Now a reasonable person might find this understandable. Maybe they didn’t hear their doorbell ringing in the middle of the night. No big deal.

But we do not live in a sane world. The girls heard Drake ringing at their door. They heard him good and well. They just thought he was a clown trying to kill them.

Stop letting these clowns rule you, people! It’s an internet hoax! Stephen King even said so!

Anyways, the sorority tried to make up for it with an apology tweet, but they missed their moment. By the time they woke, or more accurately, realized that Drake wasn’t part of the Killer Clown Posse, Drake was gone.

In other Drake news, singer Shawn Mendes had a really weird dream about him. How do we know this? Because he decided to tweet about it for some reason.

Seems like everyone just wants to meet Drake, even if it’s only in their dreams.


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