Tuesday, February 20, 2024

5 Creepy Tech Home Gadgets That Might Kill Us All In 2016

Uber-crappy 2016 has been an eventful year to say the least, marked by crazy sociopolitical events and technological advancements that can make us feel like we’re living within a dystopian sci-fi show. It can be a scary time to be alive and some of us are weary of the future, so we’ve compiled a list of some of the craziest techy home gadgets mankind has came up with in 2016:

Azumi Hikari

If the Amazon Echo isn’t cool enough for you, you can try the Azuma Hikari, which is clearly the weirdest home technology developed in the history of FOREVER. Like the Amazon Echo and Google Home, this hub does things for you, like make lists, control your lighting system and plenty of other stuff that make our human lives easier. Azuma Hikari differentiates itself from the rest because it adds a face to the technology. An anime face that has a personality and develops a relationship with the owner.


Azumi Hikari’s ad looks like a creepy rom-com, but hey, if you’re not put off by a lovestruck anime hologram, then buy the damn thing. We won’t judge.


For the tech-savvy wine lover, Kuvee might just be the thing you’ve been waiting for. You don’t need to chug that expensive bottle of wine in one sitting or argue over which type of Cabernet pairs best with your dinner; Kuvee’s smart design keeps oxygen from messing up your drink and allows you to do whatever the hell you want.


The fancy container also has a small screen that shows you which type of wine you’re drinking, offers some helpful info, and how many glasses of it there are left in the bottle. It’s like a Kindle for wine! Only for the price of 200 bucks.


Aside from its cleverly-puny name, SmartyPans provides answers to all the questions you may have while cooking, like the amount of calories in the dish, the exact quantities of ingredients it needs, and much more. This pan will make a chef out of ANYONE, even if you’ve got no culinary skills.


Thankfully, technology hasn’t forgotten about the well being of the most important member of your family (aka, your dog).


CleverPet is a software that focuses on the development and nourishment of your pet’s brain, making them smarter in ways you’d never expect. Also, it provides a distraction for them when you’re away from home, keeping your furniture and home clean and free of messes. It’s a win-win for all.

Savioke Relay Robot

This robot will be a bonus for the lucky – and rich – residents of a new luxury residence in Los Angeles. The hardwired helper, named CHARLEY, will be in charge of maintaining the building and cleaning up after you, very much like Rosie in The Jetsons. This badass robot will tend to your everyday needs, delivering parcels to your door and providing answers to all of your queries. CHARLEY will be the first robot implemented in a residential building, whose M.O. will surely be modeled by others. Here’s to the future!



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