Perhaps Valentine’s Day brought out the strange in people this week because there was no shortage of bizarre news stories over the past seven days. There was a man who accidentally shot himself trying to make jewelry on Valentine’s Day, a spa in England that will freeze your penis or vagina to sharpen up your sex life, and a town in Alabama trying to get national recognition for its Sasquatch sightings. Let’s review the Week in Hot Messes.
We’ll start in Evergreen, Alabama, where city officials have declared the town to be the Official Bigfoot Capital of Alabama. After noting that he personally had not seen Bigfoot or anything similar, Councilman Luther Upton said, “A lot of people have seen these things. They aren’t quacks. They are legitimate people who’ve seen these things.” We agree with the councilman.
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Related Story: Alabama Town Names Itself “Official Bigfoot Capital”
Moving on to Manchester, England, where a spa is reportedly offering a treatment that freezes people’s genitals in an attempt to make them look better and sexier. “It’s not uncomfortable, it’s quite relaxing,” Cryotherapy UK co-director Debra Lister said last year. “You can feel it nipping a little bit but it’s not invasive at all.” Mhm.
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Related Story: People Are Freezing Their Penises and Vaginas For Sex Stuff
Back in L.A., hundreds of people celebrated Valentine’s Day by giving their loved one a bouquet stuffed with $400 worth of weed. “I just thought it was a cool way that you could give flowers but instead of them dying and throwing them away in a week you can get some practical use out of them,” one customer said. “You come home from a long day of work and you have a headache, flowers aren’t going to help you any.’’
In Connecticut, a heroic teen allegedy stole a pizza guy’s car for a joy ride and led the police on a wild chase before finally being apprehended. And in Ottawa a man making a necklace on Valentine’s Day…accidentally shot himself with the bullet he was hoping to decorated the necklace with. “If you go do some research on what’s in a bullet, it’s not something you want to make a necklace out of,” a police spokesman said. “The reason why we put it out obviously is not in humor, it’s the public education piece here. Ammunition is live, it’s not a toy, and it should be dealt with carefully.” Solid advice.
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Related Story: Man Accidentally Shoots Himself With Bullet He Was Using to Make Valentine’s Day Necklace
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