Saturday, November 2, 2024

Who Is Going Around Biting Beyoncé: An Investigation

In what can only be described as a bombshell in celebrity gossip news, reports surfaced that an unnamed person bit Beyoncé in the face last December. That news come courtesy of Tiffany Haddish, who couldn’t help herself from spilling the tea in a recent GQ profile. At a party following a Jay-Z Inglewood party, an actress that Haddish wouldn’t name “bit Beyoncé in the face,” Haddish revealed.

When Haddish heard, she told Beyoncé she was “going to beat somebody’s ass at your party. I just want to let you know that.” Bey asked her not to and implored her to have fun instead. (Haddish leveraged the moment into a selfie opportunity.)

Okay, so with those facts established…who the hell bit Beyoncé!?

Luckily, some investigators have been on the case, starting with social media icon Chrissy Teigen. The well-connected model admitted on Twitter that she had a suspect in mind and that “she…is the worst.” But then Teigen apparently did some snooping and discovered her initial guess was wrong. She admits to knowing the identity of the Beyoncé biter but won’t divulge the name.

Around this time, Huffington Post dug through possible attendees of the Jay-Z party in question. The publication contacted representatives of actresses, hoping to narrow down the suspect list.

The funniest response, by the way, was Shirley MacLaine’s rep. “No, Shirley did not bite anything. She’s 83 years old, for God’s sake,” a spokesperson responded over the phone.

https://twitter.com/maxwellstrachan/status/978645221310369792

Two primary suspects soon emerged on social media: Sara Foster and Sanaa Lathan, both of whom were believed to have attended the December party. Foster eventually posted on Instagram asserting her innocence, writing the following tongue-in-cheek caption: “Flattering that anyone thinks I could get this close to Beyoncé.”

TMZ then reported Tuesday that its sources swear the biter in question is Lathan. The gossip site stated the multiple sources said Haddish has been telling people it was Lathan. “One source said it was not an aggressive bite … it was playful and noninvasive, but still caught Beyoncé off guard,” wrote TMZ.

Via TMZ:

The story goes … Sanaa was talking to Jay in a way that made Bey uncomfortable. Beyonce went over to Sanaa who brushed off any insinuation of inappropriate conduct and then gave her a jokey bite.

Tiffany told Beyoncé she was going to kick Sanaa’s ass, but Bey told her to let it go.

In the funniest troll a website has ever committed to screen, TMZ then included a picture of “Sanaa Lathan’s chompers.” You know, just so you can get a closer look of the alleged teeth that bit Bey.

Lathan responded on social media, defending her innocence against the slander. “Y’all are funny. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyoncé and if I did it would’ve been a love bite,” she wrote, including a lipstick kiss emoji.

This did not satisfy the sleuths on the case, who called out the suspicious phrasing of Lathan’s post.

Which…we kind of agree! Why would Sanaa Lathan include that unnecessary tidbit!? Unless she did in fact bite Beyoncé and is trying to get in front of this mess!

For now the case remains unsolved. But investigators will not rest until they know who bit Beyoncé. The world needs to know.

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