MarketWatch really screwed things up for themselves when they published an article claiming that by age 35, you should have double your salary sitting pretty in a savings account. Of course, with a changing world that’s progressively growing more and more expensive, that advice wasn’t well received. Saving money in today’s world isn’t as easy as they make it sound. If it were, millennials would just do it.
The meme is very simple. Keep the first part of the phrase and switch out the “have twice your salary saved” with something outrageous or hilarious that sometimes ends up being more plausible than saving large amounts of money.
The Washington Post reports that this article joins a long list of moments that belittle millennials and their experiences, such as the time when a millionaire claimed that young people couldn’t afford a home because of their obsession with avocado toast. The truth is that older millennials who are in their 30s lived through the recession and also have college debts, which are crippling and last for most of their lives. There’s also the fact that expenses are increasing every year while salaries remain unchanged.
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So, for future financial advice, it might be best to comment on these issues and to offer actual help instead of being critical and listing out the million things that millennials are ruining for the world. But whatever. Let’s just laugh with some memes:
by the time you’re 35 you should have saved at least half your sandwich for lunchtime instead of noming it at 10am.
— The Princess Diaries (@poniesandsodies) May 16, 2018
By age 35 you should run into friends and say “WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOON!” twice a week. You will never hang out. You’ll just scream this at each other until one of you dies.
— Luke Trayser (@trukelayser) May 20, 2018
by age 35 you should have a kitchen cabinet dedicated entirely to plastic bags that contain other, smaller plastic bags
— vytas (@peakysblinder) May 20, 2018
By age 35 you should have reached that stage of time confusion where you’re convinced the 90s was only 10 years ago.
— Jen Williams @ MCM London (@sennydreadful) May 21, 2018
By age 35, you should have gained, lost and regained 1 imperial throne, conquered not 1 but 2 other empires with Roman credentials, turned the greatest church in the world into the greatest mosque, beaten Dracula, married 5 times & written a little poem, retirement experts say. pic.twitter.com/dtZMQgTait
— Peter Sandham (@HKSandham) May 21, 2018
Millennial retirement plan:
1. Invent a time machine
2. Travel back to 1955 when mere mortals could afford houses
3. Return to 2018 and sell the house for 50x what you paid for it
4. Repeat until you can afford rent and health insurance in 2018
— Rob Wallis (@ghezbora) May 15, 2018
By age 35 you should have a junk drawer filled with USB flash drives you’re reluctant to throw out because you don’t know what’s on them but are reluctant to plug in because… you don’t know what’s on them
— aloria 🦔 (@aloria) May 20, 2018
By age 35, you should have figured out how to spell “bananas” without having to mentally sing Hollaback Girl
— Jon “Jon Baker” Baker (@JonBaker) May 20, 2018
Listen. Meghan Markle wasn’t a duchess til age 36 so stop telling me what I should have by age 35.
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) May 21, 2018
By 35, you should realise that no-one has the faintest clue what they’re doing, and the state of desperately bluffing it is a permanent feature of the human condition.
— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) May 21, 2018