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Stephen Colbert: ‘Voting Is Better Than Losing Your Virginity On Christmas Morning’

Yesterday was National Register to Vote Day, which means celebs and politicians of all types were encouraging people to check their registration. Keeping with the theme was The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert, who, with the help of some famous guests, released a video telling people to vote because, among other things, it’s better than “losing your virginity on Christmas morning.”

Helping out Colbert were John Cena, Tim Meadows Anna Gunn, Alan Cumming, George Takei, Tituss Burgess, Trevor Noah, Simon Helberg America Ferrera, Bradley Whitford, Chris Gethard, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, all of whom agreed that–despite non-existent rumors to the contrary–voting will not make your nose bleed.

“All those people in 2004 already had nose-bleeds when they went in there,” Gordon-Levitt explained.

After Anna Funn and Alan Cumming said voting would make you “strong,” George Takei agreed and said that, after casting his ballot, he “was strong enough to move his house. It’s by the beach now.”

Chris Gethard added that “Voting is powerful, like a car. And good, like a, uh, car.”

There are also bits about “feeding corn to your futuristic babies,” boats, and how little time and effort voting requires

“It only takes 20 hours and costs $1,000,” Gordon-Levitt said. Watch the video below.

The star-packed clip arrives at the same time as this detailed New York Times look at how Colbert and his writers and producers are trying, again, to “reboot” the show in the face of flagging ratings. Part of the issue for Colbert has been how much, if it all, he should revive the blowhard character he played on his beloved Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report. For now, it seems the host is warming to the idea of sharing the screen with his fictional invention. He told the Times:

If I do things that are like the old show, it was a good show. I thought of the character. It’s my humor.

Hard to argue with any of that logic.

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