I’m a big fan of using cannabis productively. Sure, sometimes I like to lay around and watch a movie or otherwise veg out, but in general, marijuana tends to be an energizing drug for me, provided I set out from the get-go with an intention to move or understand my own mind better. Over the years, I’ve realized that there are certain productive things like chores and tasks that weed can be especially helpful for getting started on.
In general, I think that bribing yourself to do things you’ve been dreading is one of the most productive ways to use the drug — though using it to understand you own mind and body better is certainly even more important. Putting off that conversation with mom? Need to exercise or clean the apartment? Trying to learn to meditate? There are many options to put your love of Mary Jane to good use. Use these ideas as jumping off points, and remember — any of these productive stoner ideas can be done sober too!
Clean Your Place
Cleaning with some earbuds in — or better yet, silently — is meditative and oddly fun when you’re stoned, at least for me. It’s going to feel really satisfying to see your sink get all sparkly white, or to vacuum the house a little buzzed. Even better, it’s also pretty much a workout.
Get Rid Of A Bunch Of Stuff
A variation of cleaning, doing this stoned can give you a great perspective on which clothes and other items in your home just aren’t serving you anymore. You can ask yourself, “does this bring me joy?” or, “is this me now, or the old me?” and get rid of the stuff that’s weighing you down. Just be careful — you might end up purging more than you intended.
Call Someone You’ve Been Putting Off Talking To
Though not everyone does, I know I tend to put off calling my parents. If I have a conversation I’m particularly dreading — like I know I’m in for a major guilt trip about how I don’t call often enough — sometimes, I find taking a walk, getting a little high, and calling them helps give me the extra push I need to have a conversation with more patience and compassion. When you’re stoned, everything becomes a little more funny and easy to have perspective on, including the things that usually intimidate or annoy you.
Challenge Yourself To Do Something Brave
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The other week, I was only able to finally bribe myself into trying an exercise dance class (the humiliation! the fun!) by getting stoned beforehand. The idea of going to a dance class terrified me, but I was finally able to get myself there by promising that I would just go high and let it be a funny adventure for myself. It helped alleviate my self-consciousness, and guess what — I had a ton of fun. I allowed myself to use the same bribe the next day, and after that, I saw that I had conquered my fear and pushed myself to form a new habit I’m now genuinely excited about. Now that I’m not afraid, I don’t feel the need to get buzzed beforehand (though I’m sure I still might sometimes), and I’m glad MJ helped give me that little extra push I needed to remind myself I’m much braver than I think.
Your something brave might be a fitness class, a painting class, going to see some music alone, going to a party — the possibilities are endless. So long as you’re not driving or potentially going to hurt anyone else by showing up a little buzzed, do it.
Dance Around In Your Room
If going to a dance class sounds too scary, I highly suggest getting buzzed, putting on your favorite dance hits, and grooving hardcore in your room, preferably naked or in your underwear. Not only is it great exercise, but it will get the endorphins flowing, and help you practice being less judgmental with yourself. A dance party for one can be the best kind of party.
Try To Meditate
And by meditate, I mean you can either sit and listen to your thoughts and breath in the present moment — or try one of these ideas, where you don’t have to sit at all. So long as you’re setting an intention to be mindful of your stream of consciousness and practice brining yourself back to the breath and the present moment, that’s meditation. The goal is not to “not think” at all, but rather to understand your own thought-patterns more. Weed is great for that in general, but if you try to focus its tendency to help you notice your thoughts from different angles, it can be incredibly productive.
Write A Stream Of Consciousness “List”
If meditating on the breath isn’t your style, try this variation, where you sit down at the computer or journal and write your stoned stream of consciousness. If it’s easier, do it in list form, and just write your thoughts as you come, without pause or editing. The next day, you’ll have a valuable record of what you were thinking about, and you won’t have lost all those brilliant and creative ideas that popped into your head high. Even if you only have a good laugh, journaling is in itself healthy and productive, and this form of non-judgmental writing is indeed meditative.
Make Some Art You Don’t Usually Make
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Whether you consider yourself an artist or not, the benefits of drawing, coloring, or otherwise making art are real. Make collages with friends. Finger-paint. Buy some Play-Doh. If visual art is already your serious craft of choice, challenge yourself to write or make music instead. The point is, you’re trying to exercise a different creative muscle here, and to remember that making things doesn’t have to just be about “being good” at something. At its root, it should be about having fun.
See Some Comedy
Yes, laughing is productive. It is cathartic and has proven health benefits. The next time you get buzzed, see some comedy, or watch some standup online. This is as easy as it gets, but it is important. Don’t just choose your comfort-zone show that makes you lightly smile. I want you to pick something that almost sounds like too much work because it might make you end up peeing your pants.
Eat Mindfully
When you’re stoned, you actually have a great chance to begin reprogramming your relationship with food. Try checking in with yourself and asking, “what is my body really craving right now?” and, “what would make it feel truly satisfied and nourished?” If you’re craving salt, make yourself a healthy snack like popcorn, and take your time dress it up with toppings exactly as you want it. If you want sweet, challenge yourself to bake exactly what you want, or go on an adventure to find it. When you do eat, challenge yourself to do so slowly, without the distraction of a screen. Notice each bite as much as you can, slow your chewing, appreciate your food, and the fact that you were able to give yourself exactly what you wanted.
Masturbate And/Or Have Sex Presently
Check out my stoned sex tips and see if you can be as present and honest as possible when you’re masturbating or having sex stoned. Use your heightened state as a way to focus more on your breath, or to notice the self-conscious thought patterns that aren’t serving you (“am I taking too long?” “am I doing this right?”). Let go, and see if you can use your heightened state to remind yourself to keep coming back to the present, arousing moment.
Go Out Alone
A variation on challenging yourself to be brave, being comfortable doing things alone is a challenge for some of us — especially women, who have been socialized to believe it is dangerous, or invites harassment. At a level that’s safe for you, go out lightly stoned and alone with as few safety blankets as possible. Try to see if you can take a very long walk by yourself, with only your thoughts as company. Go out to a nice dinner, and see if you can sit and simply focus on your food, and eating presently, noticing what’s happening around you. Go listen to some music. Sit on a park bench. If all this sounds too terrifying, check out this list of romantic dates you can take yourself on, and consider bringing something that makes you feel safe, like music, a journal, or a task you’re going to achieve while you’re out.
Talk To Yourself In The Mirror
All of the activities above cultivate compassion for yourself, but to get at it more directly, next time you’re high, talk to yourself in the mirror. You’ll feel weird at first, but try placing your hand over your heart and speaking from there. If you don’t like what you see, talk about it with yourself. If there’s a part of your body you don’t like, place a hand on it and try to send love and acceptance to it, or even say what you don’t like or how you’re feeling to your own face — just to get it out of your mind. You may find that in voicing your inner critic she loses some of her power. Ask yourself the question below, as well.
Ask Yourself: “What Do You Really Want?”
It’s a simple question, but when you take the time to really check in with yourself and answer the question honestly, the answer can be revelatory. Maybe it’s realizing you really want to feel safe and taken care of, and making yourself a pillow fort in response. Maybe it’s realizing you really want to try rock climbing, but have been too afraid to try. Whatever it is, try to practice checking in with yourself —  and then just doing the bravest, most non-judgmental and compassionate version of whatever the answer is. Be wary of the words “should” or “need” — and try to practice listening to yourself in a way that is kind — but doesn’t let yourself off the hook, either. You productive stoner, you.
