We’re not sure how many of these combinations with cannabis and guilty pleasures are even physically or gastrointestinally possible, but they’re dreams worth dreaming.
Good lord, can you imagine the possibilities in Lunchables as edibles? Cannabutter crackers, cheese infused with THC oil, those weird little pepperoni thingies somehow made better by the addition of cannabis. Customers could mix and match their own favorite snack.
Legend has it that they never go bad. If they contained cannabinoids, we’d stash a millennium’s worth of ‘em in our doomsday kits. Twinkie-flavored ice cream is a thing now, so it’s only a matter of time before someone hacks this 420-style.
This would be so easy to do. Why is this not a thing already? Curly fries made in cannabis oil. Someone please get on it.
Fruits And Vegetables
Or most healthy foods in general, to be honest. Why can’t we have cannacarrots? Leafy greens that are, well, more green? At least we have a few healthful snack options for when the munchies strike.
You know what, screw the veggies. Anything from Taco Bell—those weird curly cinnamon things, the terrible fountain drinks, the stuff that comes from the KFC side of every Taco Bell/KFC drive-thru—all of it would be better with marijuana involved, or in the food itself. The Crunchwraps provide an excellent vehicle for this.
Anything Produced At A Country Fair
Funnel cakes, hot dogs, CORN dogs, caramel corn, caramel apples, deep-fried Oreos… Fair food was basically made for stoners, and made to be turned into stoney-food.
When they’re not headed for livestock feed, Skittles are one of those candies that brings back childhood memories or makes you want to eat the entire bag in one sitting as an adult. What if they were edible-ified? Time to taste the rainbow AND experience the rainbow.
Gas Station Slurpees
You’re heading to the 7-Eleven across the street at 11 p.m. anyway. If the Slurpee machines dispensed a magical mixture of ice, food coloring, sugar and cannabis oil? We’d never leave.
When pizza’s on a bagel, you can get high anytime.
Anything From In-N-Out
A west coast staple, In-N-Out is no doubt frequented by the soon-to-be stoned or designated drivers of the incredibly stoned. We already know their secret menu. If cannabutter-fried french fries is on the secret-secret menu, we’re so there.
Anything From Chipotle
A burrito the size of one’s head that also contains THC would be killing two birds with one stone.
Just like Bagel Bites, these little suckers are a tomato, cheese, and weirdly fake-tasting meat treat that would be a thousand times improved if they could get us high. However, that’d make it a lot easier to eat an entire bag and go on the high of a lifetime, in a bad way.