Sunday, January 23, 2022
HomeCelebrity'Ocean's Eight' Will Be Your Favorite Beyoncé Song In Movie Form

‘Ocean’s Eight’ Will Be Your Favorite Beyoncé Song In Movie Form

News can reinforce simple truths when reported and received by audiences fairly. Try this one for instance: Ocean’s Eight casting is near flawless. The all-female spinoff of the Ocean’s Eleven trilogy, initially a remake of 1960’s Ocean’s Eleven starring Frank Sinatra, has garnered serious intrigue since its announcement.

That interest only increases with every tidbit of news. Our most recent treat: A first look of Ocean’s Eight cast in character. A telling photo indeed, despite its ignoring any and all realities of underground public transportation.

Any great ensemble heist movie revolves around the dynamics at play. Since Ocean’s Eight will be from the same vein of Ocean’s Eleven—a synopsis also released unveiled that Sandra Bullock will play Debbie Ocean, rumored to be sister of George Clooney’s Danny Ocean—that film will serve as our main comparison.

No doubt Bullock maintains the charisma necessary to believably lead a crew that includes Rihanna and goddesses like Cate Blanchett and Sarah Paulson. She’s wearing a fur coat that would make Bad Boy era Puffy jealous, and seems so nonchalant about its existence you forget she’d be dripping five minutes into that subway ride.

We’ll get to the others but now seems an important time to inform you the name of Rihanna’s character. That would be Nine Ball. This surely is an allusion to eight balls (both the fortune-telling and illicit kinds), though like all qualities Rihanna, she’s one level higher than the competition. (Yes, that was a pun—please clap.) Similar to real life, joining this heist appears like an activity good enough to pass the time for Rihanna’s Nine Ball. Related side note: If Rih Rih’s “Bitch Better Have My Money” isn’t used in Ocean Eight, I’m not saying the film would be a failure. But that’s a disappointment. At least give us that synergy in the trailer.

https://twitter.com/blutjeans/status/825941150741708801

From the photo and early synopsis, it’s a toss-up between Blanchett and Paulson of who’s playing the Brad Pitt “Cooler Sidekick” role. Early money’s on Blanchett just because Paulson seems low-key as depicted here, while Blanchett has the look of someone who killed the zebras herself to produce that fur. Whichever one isn’t “Cooler Sidekick” probably defaults to boss-behind-the-scenes ala Elliott Gould in the originals.

Also, in unsurprising news, Anne Hathaway will definitely be super extra in this film. She’s aggressively addressing the camera, whereas the other three looking that direction—Awkwafina, Minday Kaling, Helena Bonham-Carter—only seem aware of its presence. Am I being too mean toward Hathaway? Possibly. But if we had any doubt she’s assuming Matt Damon’s dorky “Linus” role, her character’s name is Daphne Kluger. We’ve all met a Daphne Kluger in our lives previously. That name speaks volumes.

Word’s still out on the last three. To continue being derivative, my bet’s Kaling will play British-but-lovable technician like Don Cheadle and Awkafina, sitting in the way, way back, is relegated to punchline Casey Affleck duties. Bonham-Carter, as usual, is a complete and total wild card.

So yes this movie’s casting, unequivocally, is flawless. Insert your favorite Beyoncé lyric here.

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