Thursday, November 30, 2023

Taylor Swift And Drake Being A Thing Is Already Out Of Hand

On some level, we wish to assume the smug media position of being right. This Taylor Swift and Drake friendship/relationship/publicity stunt is real and happening and we tried to warn you.

But a deeper reflection garners a different stance: Warning fine internet folks like yourself about the upcoming doom of a #Draylor takeover is like someone standing in the path of a tornado and thinking, “That might be dangerous.” It is bad and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Now we present to you Exhibits A, B, and C.

Yes that is Drake singing Swift’s “Bad Blood” while flexing and lifting weights. He’s so hyped from Tay Tay he drops the bar because the song is “distractingly good.”

It’s a callback to Swift’s similar self-deprecating commercial where she runs on the treadmill while listening to Drake and Future’s “Jumpman.” Then she trips and falls on her face because she’s too focused on rapping along. To be fair, this is understandable: Just try listening to that song and not once whispering “Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman.” It’s impossible.

We joked in an earlier story about calling Drake and Taylor’s totally-not-contrived relationship “Draylor.” We were following the patter of similar silly portmanteaus for celebrities: Brangelina (R.I.P.), KimYe, HiddleSwift (lol), and TomKat.

It was a fun nickname. Then Drake went ahead and actually used it in an Instagram post promoting the ad. Drake is openly trolling the internet and he’s winning. Combined with the natural tour de force that is a Taylor Swift celebrity maelstrom, it’s advised we all clutch each other tightly and wait for this to pass. There’s nothing we can do to stop Draylor.


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