The New Year is just around the corner and it might put some couples in a fun and innovative mood, which is awesome. According to different sex therapists, kink exists on a spectrum and it’s totally okay. You don’t need to buy sex toys or go to an orgy to try something new with your sex life and discover some satisfying results.
Sex therapists and experts have advice for anyone that’s looking to spice up their sex life, no matter their age, knowledge and sexual orientation. Here are 5 tips.
Forget about male/female
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Chris Maxwell, sex educator and developer of Pleasure Mechanics online courses, spoke with The Huffington Post and explained that gender liberation provides benefits for people of all genders. “If there is something you have always held back from exploring or expressing, now is the time to begin thinking about giving yourself permission. That might be as simple as a baking class or auto mechanics, or maybe you are ready to explore butt play or spanking!” he says.
Exploring what feels taboo and like something you shouldn’t naturally enjoy can make you feel excited and bond with your partner. You can also have some fun, which is what matters at the end of the day.
Indulge in your fantasies
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Familiar sex can be predictable, which can make things a little boring and repetitive. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you’re feeling the need to try different things and spice things up, New Year’s is a good time for this, providing plenty of options for those who want to explore some dirty fun. “Before adding variety, ask yourself what you currently find lacking and what you think might make it more exciting,” says sex therapist Jesse Kahn.
Talk openly with your partner
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Have an honest discussion with your partner about the things you’re interested in trying out. It’s very important for both of you to be on the same page and to know your limits. The thing you want to avoid is you or your partner freaking out and finding themselves on a position that will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.
Focus on your breathing
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According to Maxwell, breathing exercises and practices are the most important and life-changing practices someone can learn, capable of energizing and relaxing you while having sex. “Everyone needs to breathe more during sex. Start by taking a few deep breaths while you are getting aroused and notice what happens.”
Practice the platinum rule
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Sex therapist Megan Fleming calls the platinum rule the best thing you can do in order to have good sex, asking you to do unto your partner what they’d like to do to themselves. This rule asks you to do what turns them on the most instead of what you think turns them on more, or what you personally enjoy.
