Sex is great, but much of it depends on how you’re feeling and external factors. While there’s no way of stopping your brain from running wild during the first time you have sex with someone new, or when something stressful happens in your life, there are effective and simple ways to prepare your brain for a more positive experience.
Several sex experts gave advice to The Huffington Post to help old and new couples have better and more pleasant sex. Check out five of our favorites:
Make a to do list
If making a pre-sex to-do list doesn’t sound like an exciting concept, then you’re not a to-do list person and you’re missing out. To-do lists are great tools, helping you organize your thoughts, keeping them contained and preventing them from popping up at random times. You don’t want to be having sex while thinking about the fact that you need to buy more milk and clean out the fridge. Trust the list.
Keep a stash of all the items you need
While spontaneous sex in random places sounds super fun, more often than not, you’ll be having sex in your bedroom. Keep all the things you need close by. That way, you never run out of condoms, lube, or anything else you need that helps you have better and more intimate sex.
Stimulate your brain
“Sex begins in the brain” is an expression that’s very popular for a reason. Your brain manages your sex drive, so it’s important to pay attention to it and to try to get it involved in the process. “The brain is a more powerful sexual organ than genitalia, because it’s where sex drive stems from, so reading erotica or visually imagining sex play will do wonders to heighten senses in preparation for sex,” says sexologist Sunny Rodgers.
Hint at sex before you have it
Hinting at sex with a text or a passionate kiss can really build up the tension and help you get in the mood, letting your imagination wander. According to sex researcher Sarah Hunter Murray, anticipation pays off in the long term and makes for much better sex.
Take a few deep breaths
It may seem like a simple suggestion but deep breathing helps your mind calm down and your body settle. This practice can also help you feel more mindful, thus increasing your attention to details and allowing you to have a more pleasant and sensuous experience.