Thursday, June 13, 2024

David Schwimmer Swears He’s Not The Same Dude Wanted By British Police

It started out as a serious question on Facebook. Police in the English seaside town of Blackpool wanted the public’s help in tracking down a thief who stole a jacket, wallet and phone from a local restaurant.

But things took a turn when the public got a visual of the suspect in question — security footage of the guy buying beer from a nearby convenience store. This dude look familiar to you?

If you’re thinking to yourself, “That guy looks just like Ross from Friends!” you are not alone. If you have a few minutes to spare,  just wade through the comments, which include:

im suprised youve not found him…..its like your always stuck in second gear…

I don’t think it’s been this guy’s day, his week, his month or even his year…..?

Was he on a break?

I was going to read the report for this but it was 18 pages… FRONT AND BACK! It rambled on for so long that I fell aslEEP

Shoplifting…It’s NOT that common. It DOESN’T happen to every guy, and it IS A BIG DEAL !!!

That’s clearly not Ross. They’re as different as night and… later that night.

Approach this man with care, especially if someone has just taken his leftover turkey sandwich with a moist maker

Hope he didn’t forget his ‘salmon skin roll’

Only way this can end is with a Scooby Do ending, where they pull off the Ross Mask and its Gunther

Others acknowledged it was a serious crime, you guys:

Guys this is serious…it was a robbery based on giving and receiving as well as having and sharing. And the stolen items that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving, we too can share and love and have… and receive.

Scotland officers even joined in on the fun. Wrote the Dumfries Police:

If you see him keep away. He is known to have studied Karate and we believe he has mastered the art of Unagi, the state of total awareness.

Of course, it was only a matter of time before the real  Ross Geller (aka David Schwimmer) heard about his doppelganger and posted a response proving his innocence:

Blackpool Police unanimously agree that Ross from Friends is not the culprit:

Thank you to everyone for your speedy responses. We have investigated this matter thoroughly and have confirmed that David Schwimmer was in America on this date. We’re so sorry it has to be this way.

Evil Ross is still on the loose. If you have any genuine info, Blackpool Police are there for you. Like they’ve been there before.

(If you’re not a Friends fan, apologies for an entire story which must make absolutely no sense.)


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