Sunday, December 22, 2024

Someone Made Marvel Avenger Sex Toys

Let’s clarify something up front: this post is seriously NSFW. Because this story is about sex toys, specifically ones that involve some super popular superheroes. Last year, the Australian company Geeky Sex Toys launched a line of Star Wars-themed sex toys, in conjunction with the release of The Last Jedi. Never have you though C-3PO could be something so dirty.

In anticipation of Marvel’s upcoming Avengers: Infinity War, Geeky Sex Toys unveiled a similarly-themed product rollout. It’s for those of you who’ve ever wondered what happens to Bruce Banner’s dong when he morphs into the Hulk, or thought that the Infinity Gauntlet looked like the perfect object to shove up your booty hole. The whole collection has been dubbed “Indulgers: Pleasure War.”

It isn’t the first time the company has cross-referenced popular culture for sex toys. Previously, they’ve exploited Pokémon (or “Pokémoan”), Power Rangers (“The Mighty Moaning Anal Rangers”), Game of Thrones (“Game of Moans”), and another Marvel installment, Guardians of the Galaxy (“Orgasms of the Galaxy”). But these Infinity War toys really are in a whole different category.

A useful breakdown via Gizmodo:

If [the] enormous green “Incredible Dong” does not appeal, Geeky Sex Toys is also selling: Captain Anal and Arse Reactor butt plugs; Agent Getsmeoff, a Black Widow branded fleshlight; and, uh…the HawkAss, an arrow-shaped dildo intended for pegging a target just like the world’s greatest marksman.

We’ll leave it at that. How Geeky Sex Toys gets away with copyright issues is a story yet uncovered. (Gizmodo reached out to the company, but they didn’t reply.) One thing’s certain: never has there been a better time to be a geek. You literally have everything you could possibly ever need!

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