If you’ve met the love of your life, or even just someone whose clothes you want to rip off every time you see them, experts have some advice if you’d like to see the infatuation stage last past the first month: here’s the deets on the Once-A-Week Rule.
Psychologist Seth Meyers recommends limiting your time together to just once per week. He tells Psychology Today:
While the drive to want to be with that person is understandable, the real-world realities often ultimately stress the new relationship and cause it to end.
He says seeing each other too often “intensifies emotions,” which could lead to heartbreak if it’s with someone you don’t know very well.
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“The problem with this dynamic is that seeing each other too frequently at the very beginning forges an illusion of intimacy and dependence, even though each person does know that it takes months — or even years — to truly get to know someone.”
Same deal if the person you’re crushing on doesn’t have the same relationship goals as you — you could end up heartbroken and/or feeling lonely. But if the two of you are on the same page? Great! It’s just that that rarely happens.
Meyers recommends that new couples see each other once a week for the first month and then increase the frequency after that. And to those who believe new lovers should throw caution to the wind and go with what feel natural, Meyers disagrees: “I would respond by saying that two people who are meant to be together will end up together, regardless of whether they see each other once a week or five times a week.”
