Saturday, September 30, 2023

Time To Log Off: Re-Imagining The Titles Of Great Movies As Clickbait

Great movies have great titles; the same cannot be said about great content on the internet. Many, many stories found on websites receive awful names that often belie or straight-up lie about the content found within. Because what matters isn’t the content itself, but that you clicked.

So we thought it’d be fun re-imagining classic and/or important movies as clickbait titles. How would films change, what would be the salacious meat editors pull out to grab readers?

Log off the internet if these titles sound too familiar to you.

Original Title: Wolf of Wall Street
Clickbait Title: When You Officially Know You’ve Consumed Too Many Drugs  

Original: Shawshank Redemption
Clickbait: This Man Was Wrongly Accused of Murder and Crawled Through 300 Yards of Shit to Find Freedom

Original: 2001: A Space Odyssey
Clickbait: Elon Musk: Robots Will Take Your Jobs And Then They Will Kill You

Original: Top Gun
Clickbait: The Inherent Limitations of a Patriarchal, Militaristic System

Original: La La Land
Clickbait: The 7 Best YouTube Amateur Singing Mashups From Users With Less Than 1,000 Followers

Original: Gran Torino
Clickbait: Trump Supporters Wanting to Build A Wall, Explained

Original: I’m Still Here
Clickbait: Joaquin Phoenix Is Lowkey Losing His Mind And You Have To See It

Original: Clerks
Clickbait: Let’s Talk About Why Gen X Is Disillusioned and Cranky With The World

Original: Moneyball
Clickbait: The Best GM in Baseball Doesn’t Care About Stars And It’s All Because of Jonah Hill

Original: Silence of the Lambs
Clickbait: Um, There Might Be A Psychopath Eating People’s Faces On The East Coast…

Original: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Clickbait: QUIZ: Only A Hopeless Romantic Could Identify Their Ex After This Science Experiment

Original: Star Wars: A New Hope
Clickbait: What Does Being “Good” Actually Mean? (Space Edition)

Original: Avatar
Clickbait: The Haunting Ghost of American Exceptionalism

Original: Toy Story 3
Clickbait: Why Nostalgia’s To Blame For Millennials’ Newfound “Extended Adolescence”

Original: The Hangover
Clickbait: The 28 Best Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Accidentally Drinking Too Much

Original: Lost in Translation
Clickbait: I Used To Believe America Was Best, Then I Found Love In This Foreign Country

Original: Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Clickbait: Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb


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