A busy and exhausting life is one of the main reasons people pass on sex. It’s the world’s most popular excuse for a reason, and there’s some truth to it. While most days you could choose to have sex, other days it’s really hard to muster up the energy for it. It’s easier to go to bed or to watch a TV show.
According to sex therapist Vanessa Marin, there’s two ways to resolve this issue: you can focus on the long term or on the short term. Here are some of her most helpful tips.
Develop better sleep hygiene
Sleep hygiene is the process by which you make your sleeping habit cleaner and easy to access, whether that be using your bed only for sleeping and sex, avoiding iPhone use late at night, or purchasing a weighted blanket. These tools and routines allow your body to develop a pattern, which can really help you have more sex in the long run.
Shake off the sleepiness
If you’re nodding off in the couch and expect to have sex later on, try to get up and shake off the sleepiness. Clean up a bit around your house or stretch out your limbs, reminding your body to stay awake for a little while longer.
Think about the good stuff
Most people who pass on sex are not thinking about the afterglow of it and all the benefits it provides. Think about how you feel after having sex, pumping yourself up for the good stuff instead of focusing on the stressors of the day and how tired you feel.
One of the most common recommendations sex therapists give is for couples to schedule sex, allowing them to prioritize the activity and to prepare ahead of time. Having this knowledge allows you to clear out your schedule on your “sex day”, giving you the chance to get more sleep on the day before and to get excited throughout the day.
Have sex early
It’s hard to muster the energy to have sex after a long and draining day, so try to have it as early as possible. You can try out morning sex or, if you don’t want to mess with your sleep hours, on the early evening.