In order not to unintentionally bury the lead here, let’s place this startling new information right up front: Some individuals are watching Netflix while taking dumps in public restrooms. Netflix and Poop is the new movement.
While you may consider this honest statement bordering something crass, you should first know that this is something Netflix is kind of bragging about it. Generally the media company is notoriously guarded about releasing any facts or data regarding streaming date. No one knows how many people actually watched Stranger Things or just what demographic of people viewed Dave Chappelle’s latest standup comedy specials.
Netflix gets away with this because its shows obviously aren’t accompanied by advertisements. While competitors and adjacent media companies might want to know these numbers, Netflix doesn’t technically need to sell anyone that audiences are watching because the audience pays them directly—and/or uses an acquaintance’s parent’s account to watch.
But what we’re discussing here isn’t number-crunching; it’s more like toilet paper-smearing. Netflix itself commissioned a survey by the data company Survey Monkey, in which they solicited responses from tens of thousands of people across the globe, including 1,600 Americans. Thanks to the rise of smartphone and tablet culture, the survey found that two-thirds of Americans stream movies and TV in public.
Now, those Americans watch in expected scenarios like on airplanes (44 percent) or trains (31 percent) or automobiles (34 percent). And apparently 12 percent of Americans were so consumed by their content that they missed their next stop on the train or bus.
However, most startling remains those who choose to watch in public bathrooms. That figure is an astounding 12 percent. And you might question my usage of astounding as an adjective there, but I don’t think we’re properly recognizing that no one should carry their tablet or smartphone into a nasty, grimy, very-much-public bathroom to knock out a few episodes of Mindhunter.
Entirely unsurprising though is the number of Americans who admitted to watching Netflix while at work. That figure? 37 percent. I’m kind of surprised it isn’t higher. I expected 100 percent of people to always be watching some mindless bingefest while plugging away at climbing the corporate ladder.
Anyways, the lesson here is simple: Stop Netflix and Pooping in public bathrooms. At least have the decency to do that shit in your own home.