Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Will This Be The Year Santa Finally Drowns In The Atlantic?

Every year, Santa Claus has to travel from east to west in order to account for time differences—Christmas begins earlier in, say, Germany than it does in Iowa—which means he’s always flying against the jet stream, adding delays to his already very long trip. But this year, Jolly Ol’ St. Nick will face additional problems because of the cold-ass winter weather we’re currently dealing with in the United States.

As Sky News reports, cold air moving through the southern U.S. has made the weather unseasonably challenging in the U.K., which could pose challenges for an overweight man being pulled through the sky by magical reindeer.

“A wet and windy Christmas weekend is on the cards,” Sky News weather presenter Nazaneen Ghaffar said. “In fact, most of this week there will be severe gales and spells of rain, particularly across the northwest of the UK and Ireland.”

Ghaffar added that wind gusts of up to 90 mph are expected off the coast of Scotland, with gusts of up to 60 mph possible through the rest of the U.K.

So will this be the year Santa fails to make it across the Atlantic? If so, what happens then? Will Christmas be canceled? These are all good questions. If you’re mumbling to yourself that all of this seems far-fetched, remember all the other insane and improbable things that have occurred this year. Santa drowning in the ocean because of high winds would barely crack the top 5 strangest things that took place in 2016.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!


Celebrating The Espresso Martini

Despite a few Grinches, the holiday sales confirm marijuana is mainstream which is good news all the way around.


6 Fantastic TV Shows That Are Even Better With Marijuana

Few things are better than getting pleasantly high, lying down on your couch, and watching a few hours of TV. Here are six shows to watch with weed.

Don't Miss Your Weekly Dose of The Fresh Toast.

Stay informed with exclusive news briefs delivered directly to your inbox every Friday.

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.