Sunday, December 22, 2024

Kanye West Wrote A Weird Poem About McDonald’s

When we speak of great modern-day American poets, the list probably starts with — yeah, nevermind. Kanye wrote a poem about McDonalds. And it’s absolutely incredible.

By now you’ve likely heard of *the poem*, but to recap: Frank Ocean’s recent data dump of refracted beauty included his magazine Boys Don’t Cry. Contained within that magazine is “The McDonald’s Man,” written by Mr. West himself. Below is the poem in its entirety.

The McDonald’s Man
Calabassas, California

McDonalds man
McDonalds man
The French fries had a plan
The French fries had a plan
The salad bad and the ketchup made a band
Cus the French fries had a plan
The French fries had a plan

McDonalds man
McDonalds man
I know them French fries had a plan
I know them French fries had a plan
The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band
To overthrow the French fries plan
I always knew them French fries was evil man
Smelling all good and shit
I don’t trust no food that smells that good man
I don’t trust it
I just can’t

McDonalds man
McDonalds man
McDonalds, damn
Them French fries look good tho
I knew the diet Coke was jealous of the fries
I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the fries
I could see it through his artificial meat eyes
And he only be there some of the time
Everyone was jealous of them French fries
Expect for that one special guy
That smooth apple pie

In print, the poem remains a production of majesty, but the plight of the fries becomes even more palpable delivered by spoken word. Thank goodness, then, for New York rapper Joey Bada$$, who was recently on HOT 97 and recited the “Shakesperean” quality poem.

Contained within the pages of Boys Don’t Cry also includes Mr. West pulling through a McDonald’s drive-thru in a car that has no earthly business in such an establishment. Photographed by NABIL, who also directed Ocean’s mosaic “Pryramids” music video, the pictures speak as something like a performance art piece. Or Kanye just really wanted some McDonald’s. Both are feasible.

Of course, McDonald’s had added its “social” response as well with a tweet including the red 100 emoji, which has long been out of style thanks to stunts like this.

McDonalds man. I hope this doesn’t constitute their marketing plan.

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