Welcome to Buzztober! (Rocktober is so 2012.) This is the time of year when we put our flip-flops in the back of the closet and bust out the sweaters for… sweater weather. It’s time to say your final farewell to summer and say hello to shorter days, longer nights and some great excuses to smoke marijuana. Also: horror movies.
Check Out The Autumn Colors
October is prime time to see nature in all its beauty. From Maine to California and just about everywhere in between you can bask in the awesome glory of kaleidoscope colors. Pack a picnic. And pack your bowl with an uplifting bud of sativa to see colors as you have never seen before.
Watch Football On TV
October is heaven for sports fans. It’s almost too much: College football and NFL season are in full swing. Baseball playoffs begin on Monday. NHL season begins on Oct. 12 and the NBA tips off on Oct. 25. Put on your favorite team attire, invite some friends over, have a few tokes and marvel at the athleticism of these modern gladiators. Avoid the next-day booze hangover and make the switch to marijuana.
Binge On Horror Movies
There is nothing more fun than a scary-movie marathon on a cold, rainy October night. Turn the lights off and get properly lit. It won’t matter how many times you have seen The Exorcist — you will be freaked out when Linda Blair’s head does a full 360. Added bonus: The campier the movie, the more you’ll chuckle.
If horror movies ain’t your thing, then watch these shows that are better with a buzz.
Channel Your Inner Child And Get The Crayons Out
Yeah, yeah. The whole adult coloring book fad is done. But trust me on this one. Cannabis and crayons are a great combo, especially on a dreary autumn afternoon. Make some cannabis tea, put on your PJs, turn on some chill tunes and color. You don’t have to stay within the lines if you want to. You don’t have to finish it either. All you have to do is create. Consider it art therapy.
Go Shopping For A Sweater
It’s sweater season. But for some of us who are fashion averse, trying to find the right sweater can be damn-near impossible. Head to the mall and have a few tokes before headed into the stores. Or if you prefer shopping online, even better. And if your spouse or friend criticizes your choice, just say “Hey, I was stoned when I bought this! What do you expect?”
Marijuana can turn a boring chore into one of the best forms of therapy. Put on your favorite pair of old jeans, smoke a bowl, put in your earbuds and grab a rake. I recommend finding a nice, classical music station and get zen with it. Added bonus: Jumping into a pile of freshly raked leaves is fun when buzzed. I don’t care how old you are.
Go To A Pumpkin Patch Or Corn Maze
This autumn tradition is a blast buzzed. At the pumpkin patch, look for the most beautifully, perfect, symmetrical gourd. And then look for the homeliest, wart-filled one. Look for one that looks like a celebrity’s face. You will giggle like a child. And if there is a corn maze near you, by all means go there after a toke sesh. It may take you forever to get out!
But Do NOT Carve A Pumpkin
Picking out a pumpkin is one thing, but carving one is not recommended. Sharp objects and weed don’t go together. Your dexterity may be compromised and, well, accidents happen. My suggestion: Get out a pen and sketch your design while buzzed. When you feel clear-headed, get the carving apparatus out and finish the job. Trust me on this one.
Like raking leaves, stacking firewood is one of those fall chores that can be mind-numbingly boring. But after a few hits of marijuana, it becomes an elaborate game. Every fall, I actually look forward to stacking a cord of wood while under the influence. Time flies by and the stack looks absolutely beautiful.
But Do NOT Chop Firewood
As I mentioned above, sharp objects and weed don’t go together. And an ax is not just a sharp object — it’s a weapon in the wrong hands. And when you’re stoned, it’s in the wrong hands. Your foot is too valuable to risk, so keep the ax in the toolshed and get stacking.
And Please Do NOT Clean Your Gutters
Ladders aren’t sharp objects. But, well, I shouldn’t even have to explain this one to you. Just say no to gutter-cleaning and marijuana. Enough said.
What Is Your Favorite Buzztober Activity?
Do you have a favorite October chore/activity/routine? Send us your story and we may print it later in the month.