Wednesday, October 5, 2022

The FBI Can’t Hire Hackers Because They All Use Marijuana

The FBI’s weed policy could be hurting our cyber security during a time when that’s simply unacceptable.

Being a tech whiz and smoking cannabis go hand-in-hand. Watch an episode of “Silicon Valley” if not convinced. Hence, this anti-pot administration is having trouble getting good hackers to even apply to the FBI. And as current affairs demonstrate, we need hackers’ talents now more than ever.

Hacking is a skill that’s in high demand, especially in this age of digital privacy. It’s a skill that can get you in the door of many top tier companies, willing to overlook some harmless cannabis use if fingers are fast enough, but not so at the FBI.

marijuana laptop
Photo by Jose Luque / EyeEm/Getty Images

The FBI has a three year waiting period for weed imbibers. And if another different illegal substance has been used, such as cocaine or ecstacy, the waiting period turns into 10 years. This policy isn’t hurting hackers, unless it was their lifelong dream to join, but it could be hurting our cyber security during a time when that’s simply unacceptable.

With stories flying across the TV at lightning speed about Russian interference in our election and with all the digital wartime tools that are themselves at least somewhat vulnerable to hacking from another country or even from within, now is not the time to discriminate against pot smokers.

There was a window of time back in 2014 when now fired FBI Director James Comey said, “He should go ahead and apply,” regarding a hacker who had been shying away because of cannabis use, as reported by The Atlantic. But who knows if any of God’s own stoners made it in or if bureaucracy got in the way.

3 Reasons Why You Should Smoke Marijuana With Your Friends Online
Photo by Christina Morillo via Pexels

It’s the three year law that really keeps potential hackers at bay. It’s not as if one can clean up and apply. Any hacker would have to have been free of cannabis use for a full three years before they could get behind the screens of any FBI computers. So if you’re reading this and you’re a hacker, sorry, but you’re likely not getting a job at the FBI.

With marijuana legalized in eight states and the District of Columbia and medical marijuana legal in 30 states plus D.C., you’d think some of these arcane techniques would fall by the wayside, but no. And, it seems, especially not in the FBI. Nothing, not a puff for three years? Good luck, FBI, and good luck to us all.

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