Sunday, August 14, 2022

Hot Mess

Teacher To Student: “Why Don’t You Lick Me Where I Fart?”

A Canadian high school teacher has been suspended and faces possible termination this week for allegedly berating students with questions like, “Why don’t you lick me where I fart?” Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson teaches 10th and 12th grade English at Ontario’s...

Donut Shop Vandal Caught Sticky-Handed

It's hard to get away with vandalism when you're covered in the evidence. It's even harder when the evidence is a “sticky white food substance." "Man covered in marshmallow creme-like stuff arrested for vandalism at Voodoo Donuts" the Register-Guard reports out...

Hot Mess: Share Your Craziest Stories With Us Right Now

Here at The Fresh Toast we publish all sorts of posts. We write about movies, food, music, celebrities, drinks, and—most importantly—cannabis. But we also have a section called Hot Mess, which is where we share weird crime news and...

“Cannibal Cop” Says The Ladies Love Him Now…Really?

Gilberto “Cannibal Cop” Valle, the former NYPD officer who was once convicted of planning to cook and eat his wife, says dozens of women have reached out to him in the two years since he was released from prison. Valle...

Vape Pen Explodes In Woman’s $1,900 Louis Vuitton Bag

Sometimes when you visit a Sunglass Hut in a New Jersey mall, you walk out with a cool pair of new shades. Other times your freakin' vape pen explodes in your fancy-ass, Louis Vuitton purse and you leave with a...

Apple’s New iOS 10 Had A Porn Problem

Apple’s iOS 10 has had a glitch-filled debut. Of course, many, if not most, software updates have problems in their first few days, but iOS 10 has really set a new standard: First, the sports site Deadspin discovered My...

Worst Job Hunter Ever Mails Dead Skunks To The Competition

This job hunter makes endless LinkedIn invitations look appealing. After being turned down for a fourth grade teaching position, he went full revenge mode, mailing dead animals — four skunks and a raccoon — to everyone responsible for his...

Firefighter Chronicles: The Breast-Groping, Taco Meat-Eating Woman Who Masturbated in an Ambulance

One happy thing I’ve learned during my 20-plus years as a firefighter and E.M.T. is that usually the most entertaining ambulance calls are ones that are the least serious. I honestly can't remember how many people’s lives I’ve seen...

WTF Is Going On With All The Clowns, And How Scared Should We Be?

The great clowns epidemic of 2016 has drifted south to Georgia, where children in two cities have reportedly been harassed by the make-up-covered walking nightmares. In LaGrange, Ga. on Monday, a Facebook group purportedly started by a clown (or...

I’m Brandi And My Future Mother In Law Is A Hot Mess!

I met my bf Trevor about three years ago at a church picnic near Dallas. He's the best, and a total babe. We moved last year to be closer to his family. Now we live -- that's right --...

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