Thursday, June 17, 2021

News

North Korea Bans Sarcasm And The World Freaks Out

Fifteen years ago, in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter famously proclaimed, “I think it’s the end of the age of irony.” Irony, of course, has survived and flourished in the years since. For...

Ryan Lochte Suspended From Swimming For 10 Months

Twelve-time Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte has been suspended by the United States Olympic Committee and USA Swimming for triggering a minor international incident after a night of drunken debauchery in Rio, according to reports from ESPN and TMZ. Locate...

Here’s Some Unsolicited Advice For Apple From TFT

As Apple releases its newest edition of the premiere golden calf that is the iPhone, the world looks on in collected reaction of: okay, cool. When the iPhone was first released it was a revolution: It changed our concept...

A Brief History Of One Man’s Attempt To Eat Whole Foods’ Buffalo Chicken Tenders

For the past two months, I’ve worked near the Whole Foods in Gowanus, Brooklyn. It’s an easy lunch destination, with mostly overpriced, mediocre and healthy-ish options except for the buffalo chicken tenders, which are delicious, terrible for you, and...

Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein Flies To Wrong City For Ohio Rally

Green Party presidential hopeful Jill Stein was scheduled to give a speech at Capital University in Bexley at noon today, but she wasn't on time. Her convoy made a wrong turn. Like an airplane flying to a different city...

See The SpaceX Rocket Explode In Florida

Two days before it was set to launch, a SpaceX rocket exploded at its Cape Canaveral launch pad Thursday morning. No one was injured in the blast, but the Falcon 9 rocket was carrying Facebook’s $95 million satellite—meant to...

President Obama Grants Clemency to Grateful Dead Fan Serving Life in Prison

At the age of 25, Timothy Tyler knew where he was supposed to die. He’d never been to prison, but after selling LSD and cannabis to a police informant, he was sentenced to life in prison in 1992. He...

NYC’s Infamous Cricket Lady Arrested For Nightmare Bug Prank In Subway

The woman who horrified New Yorkers — and freaked out just about everyone else — last Wednesday when she dumped 600 crickets and worms into a crowded subway car and then peed all over the floor has been arrested. Just hours after the incident...

New Planet Discovered: Let’s Theorize Everything That’s About to Go Wrong

As long as we’ve studied the stars, humans have searched for the possibility of life on another planet, of another Earth. That quest by astronomers has yielded some candidates, like Gliese 667Cc and Kepler-452b, the most similar exoplanet to...

From Dumpster Diving To Pick-Up-Truck Pools, Philly Rules At Staying Cool

Don't tell Philly they can't soak their butts in non-traditional vessels. It won't end well. Philadelphia officials dared try to stop the dumpster pool trend, a seasonal favorite among the city's sweaty and budget-conscious. In a delightful summertime game of garbage-y innovation, Philly...

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