It’s no secret that ’90s nostalgia is hot right now. I mean really hot. Nauseatingly hot. A museum even did a whole exhibit about 1993 once. The 1990s are so hot that dermatologists recommend putting on sunscreen if you plan on making ’90s references. We’ll wait while you lather up. *Whistles, taps foot.* Ready?
I don’t know about you, but in my circle, perhaps the only topic more often discussed than the ’90s is that perennial powerhouse: sex. That’s why I had the genius idea–admit it–to compile the best ’90s sex songs. Below are my picks — but I’m sure you have yours. Tell us which songs you’d add to this list in the comments section! Comments: also very sexy!
Nobody, by Keith Sweat ft. Athena Cage
Choice Lyric: “And who can love you like me (nobody)/ Who can sex you like me (nobody)/ Who can treat you like me now, baby (nobody)/ Nobody, baby (nobody).”
One would be hard pressed (read: dumb) to have a discussion about ’90s sex songs and not mention Keith Sweat. The man exuded sexual prowess at the end of the 2nd millennium. If you doubt the power that is Sweat, you try singing baby making music sounding like you have a severe nasal infection! I bet you can’t do it. But Keith Sweat could.
A staple in Keith Sweat songs was the over synthesized background music. It was so overdone the beginning of “Nobody” sounds like the intro to 8-bit Nintendo classic Double Dragon. The dude was getting people laid to video game music! That’s impressive.
All the Things (Your Man Won’t Do), by Joe
Choice Lyric: “I’ll make your body cream with my sex machine/ I won’t stop until I hear your mother scream.”
Yes — you read that right. Joe… you the real MVP. Is this lyric about sex? Yes. Is this lyric inherently sexy? Of course not. The words “sex” and “mother” should have at least a 30-word buffer zone between them. But you have to admit: Joe has a pair on him. That’s a man who’s confident, and confidence is sexy.
This song has a special place in my heart. It was used in a funny sex scene in the Wayne’s Brothers Classic Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. That’s why I can’t ever play this song when I have my sexy time. As soon as I hear the opening melody I start to giggle thinking about when Shawn Wayne licks hot sauce off a girl’s comically crusty feet… not a good look.
2 Become 1, by Spice Girls
Choice Lyric: “I need some love like I never needed love before (Wanna make love to ya baby)/ I had a little love, now I’m back for more (Wanna make love to ya baby).”
The Spice Girls were mainly an up-tempo party hit group, but on occasion, they’d pull out a slow jam which really showed off the group’s vocal range — except for Posh Spice of course (Sorry Mrs. Beckham!) “2 Become 1” was that song. The song also happens to be about sex. Spicey, Spicey sex.
Criminal, by Fiona Apple
Choice Lyric: “I’ve been a bad, bad girl, I’ve been careless with a delicate man.”
I was at the tender age of 11 when this song began to hit airwaves. So I could not quite comprehend what Ms. Apple did to deem herself a bad girl — but I knew I wanted to find out. The entire song is sung in a sultry ooze that made you think “I think she had sex right before she recorded this song.” And the music video… it will definitely fog up your glasses.
Lovefool, by The Cardigans
Choice Lyric: “Love me, love me, say that you love me, fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.”
This song might be a bit of a head scratcher because sex isn’t the explicit focus of the song — love is. There is a big difference between a love song and a sex song. That’s why Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross don’t make appearances on this list. “Lovefool,” on the surface, seems to be a mushy love song — except for the fact that it’s sung in this playful sexy hush by frontwoman Nina Persson. On a personal note, I love bands that have a female lead singer. Partly because they sound cool singing, and partly because: sex.
Pony, by Ginuwine
Choice Lyric: “If you’re horny let’s do it, ride it, my pony.”
Pony is one of those iconic sex songs that transcends time and space and exist in a realm of its own sexiness. And I’m sure when recorded, that was the goal. If the song was sexy, the music video was even sexier. But there was more to it then Ginuwine’s gyrating hips. In the video, he won over a hostile, redneck crowd with his sexy dance. By song’s end, black and white folks alike are on the floor getting down! Kind of like how Rocky brought the U.S. and Russia together after defeating Ivan Drago… only sexier.
I Want to Sex You Up, by Color Me Badd
Choice Lyric: See the song title.
Color Me Badd should have changed their name to Color Me Bold after recording this 1991 hit. You know a group means business when they spell “Badd” with two “Ds.” There are sexier songs out there but “I Want to Sex You Up” wins the award, by my count, for being the most blatently forward sex song of the decade.
Cream, by Prince
Choice Lyric: “You got the horn so why don’t you blow it. You are fine (Fine) You’re filthy cute and baby you know it.”
I’m more of an ’80’s Prince guy myself, but you gotta have His Purple Highness on the list. Cream is one of Prince’s highest chart toppers of the decade when it reached No. 1 on the Billboard chart in ’91. Everything about Prince was sex–from his lyrics to his clothes. I bet even his love of pancakes has something to do with sex.
I’m Loving You Tonight, by The Notorious B.I.G. ft. R. Kelly
Choice Lyric: “Some say the x, make the sex spec-tacular/ make me kiss you from yo neck to yo back/ then ya, shiverin, tongue deliverin, chills up that spine, that ass is mine.”
I’m from Brooklyn, so you know I had to have the Notorious one on the list! Many know this song by its uncensored original title: “I’m Fu*kin You Tonight,” but for the sake of those with sensitive eyes and ears we kept it classy and referenced the censored version instead. Censored or not — the song’s meaning remains clear. Biggie and looking to spend money tonight. He there to get his freak on!
I’ll Make Love to You, by Boyz II Men
Choice Lyric: Are you seriously needing a lyric? It’s BOYZ II MEN!!
When we started, I know I said this list was in no particular order. This song is the exception to that rule. You don’t get more ’90’s than this and you don’t get sexier than this. “I’ll Make Love to You” is grown and sexy at its finest! Boyz II Men reached rarefied air when they simultaneously made both a love and a sex song. This is the kind of sex song that you could listen to with the family. Not that you would ever want to do that, but it’s good to have options.
So there you have it. The best sex songs from a decade that society refuses to let fade into obscurity. A time when even the president was apparently having sex. We hope you enjoy these songs again–or for the first time. And we truly, truly hope you have TONS of… music in your life. Ok, yes, and sex.