It’s the holidays. You want to make sure you have a significant other (SO) to bring to all of your social outings, but you want to bring the right one. Having the “perfect” partner by your side has never been easier. At least in theory.
With Tinder, Bumble and a myriad of other online dating sites to lean on, the possibilities of finding the “right” SO has never been more attainable. It’s this very same reasoning that could be locking you out of your true love fantasy.
In the U.K., more than half of Brits aged 25-44 are now single (and happy), and it’s been reported time and time again that millennials are waiting longer to settle down than previous generations. But for those of us trying to find our soulmate, dating apps are perhaps the last place we should be looking. But why?
It’s called the “paradox of choice,” which Business Insider defines as simultaneously loving and hating the variety of choice we have in today’s dating culture. We love it because we have so many options, and we hate it because those very same options make it tough for us to settle on just a single potential mate.
For example, you may have met someone on on Tinder, and the first date went really well. You probably want to see them again, but you can’t help noticing their tiny flaws. You know your online profile is sitting there on your phone, and you just can’t shake the feeling there could be someone else on the dating app that would be an even better fit for you.
According to at least one dating expert, writing someone off after a single date isn’t doing us any favors.
David Vermeulen, founder of elite dating app The Inner Circle, told INSIDER: “Some people are really uncomfortable the first time they see somebody. You have to sell yourself in a way. Some people can do it really well, and some people can’t, but at the same time they’re obviously a nice person.”
You have to look through it and if you believe it could potentially work, I always say you should go for a second date and see how it goes.
Vermeulen says unless the first date was a complete disaster, you should give someone a second shot at romance.
“Of course you might feel fireworks if you’re really lucky,” he says. “But it’s not always going to happen. You have to be really lucky. That’s how I see it.”
He says it’s important to show interest in your date without judging them.
“It doesn’t always work like in the movies, like love at first sight,” he said. “Some people are a little bit nervous the first time so give them a second chance.”