Let’s be honest. The whole dating process sucks. Unless you’re a very social person, the thought of sitting down to have an awkward meal or drink with a stranger isn’t the most pleasant one. Even if you enjoy getting to know people, after the fifth unsuccessful first date you might be feeling a little frustrated.
No matter how many dating books you read and dating apps you download, the process never gets any easier; dating is draining and after a while it can also make you feel insecure, like there’s something wrong with you. Getting to know people is tough and developing intimacy takes some time. There are no shortcuts.
If you hate dating, you’re not alone. The important thing is to keep trying, hold on, and try to get as much from the process as you possibly can. We looked through different dating sites and found a lot of expert tips on the subject. Here are five of them.
Fake it ’til you make it
If you’re constantly thinking that you hate dating, then your brain is going to find a million different thoughts that support this. It’s called the law of attraction. Thoughts become your reality, so trick your brain into thinking that you’re excited over the prospect of the date and meeting new people. It may seem like a tough thing to do at first, but later on you might find that you’re actually enjoying yourself.
Have some patience
Take the necessary time to find someone you truly like and don’t force yourself to date anyone just because you can’t find anyone else. This process may take some time or it may end after a month of actively going on dates. Have an open mind and be willing to open up to people who may have different interests than you.
Date in spurts
If the dating process is too exhausting for you and it takes a toll on different areas of your life, take a break of a month or two and then go back to it. Date in spurts, using the time off to work on yourself, read books, watch some TV shows, and hang out with friends. Try again once you’re feeling excited over the prospect.
Find a new hobby
It might seem crazy to fit in dating and a new hobby into your life, but it can also help you find pleasure in your day-to-day routine and make things less stressful for you. “Finding some relaxation and inner peace can help you feel better when you do go out there,” says matchmaker Stef Safran.
Don’t equate dating with sex
If the thought of hooking up after dates stresses you out, consider each of these outings as an opportunity to meet new and interesting people. Try to remove the pressure of sex and just try to have fun hanging out with someone new.