This summer was wet and hot, but it’s not over yet. If you’re yearning for another shot at talent show fame, or just miss a time before the internet in our pockets started ruining everything, there’s still time to throw your phone into the nearest river and find camping bliss as a grown-up. Which of these adult camps is calling to you?
For the adventurously zenned-out:
Varying dates and locations
$2,250 – $3,350
If touching way too much of way too many strangers in tropical environments is your thing, The Passage is where you want to be. You’ll dig uncomfortably deep to answer questions like “What do you seek to cultivate in your community?” and “What is your story of self?” This year, they went to San Marcos De Atitlan, Guatemala. Last year—their inaugural trip—sent a group of 35 unrealistically tan yoga-bodied individuals to Costa Rica “on a journey into their most authentic selves.” You’ve just missed this year’s “experiment,” which is what they call these retreats, but you’ll need the months ahead to think of answers for their application, where they’re “hand-selecting participants who share our commitment to reflection, personal growth and fun.”
For the wallflowers who need liquid courage to bloom:
Varying dates and locations, May through October
$529-599
Do you wish you could relive the inflatable lake trampolines and talent shows of your childhood summer camp memories, only with way more alcohol? Then start brushing up on your flip cup skills, because Camp No Counselors could be where you find your people. The testimonials are breathlessly positive: “I felt stripped down to my real self instantly, and any anxiety I had about not knowing people on the trip vanished within moments of being at camp,” one camper writes. Based on CNC’s photos and press coverage, that might be because you arrive, immediately take off your shirt, and are handed a beer bong. You could bump into these people in Murray Hill on a Friday night, or you could meet them at a camp upstate, where you turn in your cellphone and eat s’mores before everyone returns to their lives in finance.
For the mindful city-dweller:
NYC, Sept. 10-11
$200-350
In June, they schlepped their cushions up to Montauk for a beach retreat. For a fall getaway, The Path takes you on a “loving kindness meditation immersion” in a brownstone near Washington Square Park. There you’re promised lessons on how to be a more positive, kind, energized person — “forever.” If sitting around in a brownstone in Manhattan brings you that kind of long-lasting peace, god bless. “Our group will be incredible, all people seeking to become better versions of themselves,” the retreat description reads. “On our last retreat, people became very close!” That’s very enthusiastic and vague enough to be mildly suggestive, but okay! What happens on The Path stays on The Path.
For the camper yearning for nostalgia:
Varying dates and locations, August – October
$645-695
If what you really came here for was the smell of too many people sweating in a mess hall, the screech of metal folding chairs, tie-dying and taking nature hikes, you’ve arrived at the right camp. No booze, drugs, or Instagramming aloud — in fact, no digital technology allowed at all, including your Game Boy. You can wear a sundial, but not a watch. Talking about work is also banned, so don’t bring the business cards, either. You’ll arrive and get assigned an animal — a fox, owl, bobcat, deer, etc. — and share that animal-identity with your bunkmates for the duration. Or, opt to bring your own tent to a spot on the outskirts of camp, in case you want to make more-than-friendship bracelets under the privacy of your own thin layer of nylon.
