The Carolina Panthers NFL franchise is available for purchase. Current owner Jerry Richardson announced his intent to sell the team Sunday following an investigation announcement over accusations of workplace misconduct. The NFL has since taken over that investigation while Sports Illustrated released a lengthy investigation this week detailing a history of racial biases and sexual harassment from a Southern man stuck in his antebellum attitudes.
It appears all but certain that a new face will own the Carolina Panthers. And one man you may remember has very clear ideas about who that should be.
https://twitter.com/Diddy/status/942572662311841797
https://twitter.com/Diddy/status/942572662311841797
Diddy would be a great NFL owner. I don’t mean that he’ll be a great manager of an NFL franchise or that he’s the correct man for the job. He might be those things. But Diddy would be a great owner for me and for you because the amount of outlandish, brash suggestions would be the highest entertainment possible.
Diddy already recorded a video announcing his intention once he purchases the Panthers. It’s an already legendary nugget for example we’ll get into in a moment but I want to remind everyone upfront—Diddy owning an NFL franchise will never ever ever happen for so many reasons political and social that should be obvious without having to explain (though Diddy would have the financial means with a joint investment group). Here’s the briefest summary: Imagine Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Sean Diddy Combs literally talking about anything.
Moving on.
Okay wait not moving on actually. This seems a really good time to remind everyone of this clip of Puff Daddy. It’s from the documentary Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A Bad Boy Story released this year. In it, Puff is negotiating a deal on the phone with MTV about some kind of promotion. He seems to get his way because immediately after hanging up the phone he screams, “I AM A SAVAGE. WHATEVER I WANT I HAVE TO GET. WHATEVER I WANT I’M GOING TO GET.”
https://twitter.com/Diddy/status/870332042373771264
Anyways let’s get to the part where Diddy seems to possess zero awareness that Cam Newton quarterbacks the Carolina Panthers. “I will immediately address the Colin Kaepernick situation and put him in the running for next year’s starting quarterback,” Diddy said in an Instagram video. “It’s just competition, baby. It’s just competition.” And while I certainly believe the NFL did collude to exclude Kaepernick from the league…I don’t have to explain Cam Newton is like 250 times better than Colin Kapernick, right?
Puff also calls them the “North Carolina Panthers” for some reason, which, uh, Puff, that ain’t what they called, man.
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But these antics is why we need Puff Daddy in the NFL. He would immediately become the most divisive owner in professional sports. It would be a neverending stream of hackneyed hot takes and public laundry. He’d probably break a champagne bottle over Roger Goodell’s head and might ask Cam Newton to walk across Charlotte to buy him a cheesecake just to keep his starting job over Kaepernick. You want that and need that in your life. I do.
