Sitting in a classroom, waiting for a professor to show up after class is supposed to start, can be excruciating. As the common standard goes, if a professor isn’t there 15 minutes after class is supposed to start, class is canceled.
Now, class getting canceled shouldn’t be such a joyous event, but class involves trying, and who would want that?
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Related Story: Teacher To Student: “Why Don’t You Lick Me Where I Fart?”
The question, then, is what if the opposite happens. What if the teacher is there, but no students show up 15 minutes after class should start? That was the recent existential terror Twitter user @avitable faced when he sat in a silent, empty classroom.
You know that college rule – if the professor is more than fifteen minutes late, class is canceled?
Does the opposite apply as well? pic.twitter.com/IX0QzbX37Z
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Classwatch 2017. Class started 30 mins ago. No students yet. I thought one was coming but it was just an administrator. Who laughed at me.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Five more minutes have passed. I'm starting to doubt myself. Did I tell them no class? Is today Thursday? Am I dreaming? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's so quiet. Every time I hear a door open, I sit up and smile. But when nobody enters my classroom, I die on the inside. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Class started 45 mins ago. Still no students. I get paranoid. Is the door to the classroom locked?
I check it.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Is everyone else in the world dead? Was there a sudden zombie attack and I survived, alone in my classroom? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I swear to all that's holy, if no students have shown up by the time it hits the hour mark, I'm calling it a day. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
A bird lands outside my window. I invite him in to learn about algebra. He declines and flies away. I hope a cat eats him. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I picture Rube Goldberg scenarios where all my students got into in one complex car accident and that's why they're late. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I check my email to see if I missed something. I have no emails at all. This is weird. Did I die? Am I dead? Is this hell? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
My sign-in sheet is as empty as my soul right now. I have to eat this candy alone. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/loUV8pX5Q5
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Maybe I should just start lecturing. Students will hear talking and come in. That woudn't be crazy, right? RIGHT?! #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS PULLING A PRANK ON ME I WILL probably break down and cry. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
The lights just went off on me automatically. I start to get up to move around so they turn on again, but what's the point. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I hear voices outside. I go to the window, hope in my heart. It's just some kids on their bikes, having fun. 1/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
"Why aren't you in school? Your teacher needs you!" I yell through the closed window and give them the finger. 2/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I have started to name the chairs in the classroom. Funfetti is the good student. Charmander, the troublemaker. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I fire off an email to my boss. "WHERE ARE ALL THE STUDENTS???!!?? 😪😪"
No reply.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Then it happens. I hear a door clang open. Footsteps get louder as someone approaches. Could it be? A student? 90 mins late? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's not.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
That's it. I give up. I'm packing up and going home. Clearly this is a sign that I wasn't meant to teach anyone today. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Two students just walked in. Remorseless, no apology, no explanation. I hope they don't think they're getting any candy. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I can't do it. I give them candy anyway, but remind them that class started 95 minutes ago. They shrug. Urge to kill rises. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Both students ask to use the computer today. I sigh and say okay. I don't even need to be here. End. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/FKEaTDaxuU
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
This, however, is not the end of this peril. Our story ends on a more harrowing note.
Update on #Classwatch2017. Just got this email:
Dear Dr. Avitable,
This is totally one of your students, not you writing a fake email— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 21, 2017
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