Weed is expensive. But even more than that, life is expensive. When was the last time you didn’t have a car payment or a ridiculous tech boom rent hike (our sympathies, west coasters!)? This inevitably sharpens your gaze in the grocery store: you keenly notice which items are on sale, which are bargains, which will taste good while stoned — all while lamenting a bottomed-out bank account. It’s the new year, which means, at least for the month of January, most of us are trying to stick to our resolution to be more budget conscious. With that, we present five easy “meals” that cost less than $3 to buy and prepare and will totally hit the spot.
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Ramen Burrito With Spinach
Welcome to your new obsession. Boil a cup of water in a frying pan, add chili flakes or Sriracha, maybe a little oil if you can spare it, garlic, and put the Top Ramen noodles in the boiling water. Flip them after a minute and then add the seasoning packet and a handful of fresh spinach. Once the noodles have absorbed all the water and the spinach is cooked down, put the contents in the center of a large tortilla, fold up and eat. Trying to imagine it without trying it is like trying to imagine heaven without ever seeing an angel.
Fried Tortillas With Cinnamon And Sugar
Not the most nutritious snack, but super tasty and it costs about 75-cents. Coat your frying pan with oil and let it get hot. Then, simply, put a tortilla in the oil, turning it after about 30 seconds. Do this about five times then cut each into fourths. Powder cinnamon and sugar on top (or honey, if you prefer).
Tortilla Chip Stir-Fry
Not to give away all the secrets here, but this one is pretty bad-ass. Buy a pack of stir-fry frozen vegetables for less than $2. Combine this with the leftover stale tortilla chips in your cupboard, and you’ve got a great, not terribly unhealthy meal. Put some oil in your pan, some soy sauce, some chili flakes if you got ’em, and garlic. Turn the burner on high and add your frozen veggies. Stir them up until the frost is melted and the veggies are mostly cooked. Take a handful of tortilla chips, crush them up and sprinkle on top of the veggies. The chips soak up the sauce and they’re amazing. Add turkey to the pan if you got it, too.
Admittedly, you may need to make this before you get stoned – making homemade pasta is no easy task. But it is cheap and supremely satisfying. Make a pile of flour, drop an egg or two in the center, add a little water and knead for about an hour. Make the dough as flat as you can, cut into strips and submerge in boiling water. To keep it cheap, toss with a tablespoon of butter with some salt and pepper. Then, for the piece de resistance, fry an egg and place it on top. When you cut into the pasta, spread the yolk around the noodles for eye-opening joy.
Mini Egg Tacos
Fry up two-to-four eggs in a pan. On a plate, place mini tortillas or a quartered large tortilla and on top add a bit of cheddar cheese and sliced purple cabbage for crunch. Try to keep the yolk whole so it can ooze in your mouth on the first bite. Sprinkle taco with salt, pepper and a shot of hot sauce, if you got it. Or, if you’re feeling saucy, take a can of veggie chili from your cupboard, heat on the stove top and drizzle over the tacos. Suddenly, for less than a few dollars, you’re south of the boarder with a fine, full gut.