Wednesday, April 17, 2024

These Customs Agents Barely Avoided Literal Snakes On A Plane

Who tried to sneak these mothafuckin’ snakes onto a mothafuckin’ plane?

Airport personnel got a surprise when they noticed something slithering inside a package at John F. Kennedy Airport.

Authorities seized a Styrofoam box full of five juvenile king cobras and three geckos. The box was labeled as having a plastic tray inside. Yeah, plastic tray my ass. King cobras are the longest venomous snakes in the world.

The snakes were caught when they went through an x-ray machine, revealing their slithering whereabouts. It’s not clear where they were going, or why. The package originated in Hong Kong.

Pix11 reports out of Queens:

Customs gave the package of snakes and geckos to the Fish and Wildlife Service. “Our CBP officers perform numerous daily tasks to protect the United States from potential dangers. This seizure demonstrates our wide ranging responsibility in protecting our borders and our partnership with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service,” said Leon Hayward, acting director of CBP’s New York Field Operations.

This is hardly the first case of unsolved mail mix-ups or misunderstandings we’ve seen, from shit delivered snail-mail style or deliveries of dicks by post. But if you recently tried to air-mail a box of cobras and those slippery suckers got lost in transit, maybe keep that to yourself. Forever.

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