Monday, March 4, 2024

Meanwhile In Portland: Man Dresses Up Like A Tree To Block Traffic

Bangor Daily News in Portland first reported the tree crossing on Oct. 24, and followed it the next day with the glorious headline, “Here’s the deal with the tree guy arrested in downtown Portland.” Local news is a gift.

They report that Asher Woodworth, 30, wanted to “impact people’s natural choreography,” according to police. In other words, screw up a few dozen people’s commute. He was charged with obstructing the public way and taken to Cumberland County Jail. The tree suit was handed over to Public Works, whose employees probably mocked that guy to dust.

A news editor from NBC affiliate WCSH in Portland, Maine was on the scene and tweeted a video of Captain Planet being removed from the street:

Asher’s merciless read continues on BDN, as those intrepid journalist went straight for his Tumblr. Damn. “A September post on a Tumblr blog linked to Woodworth’s personal website shows a person dressed in tree branches similar to what Woodworth wore Monday,” they write. “On his website, Woodworth expresses interest ‘in facilitating diverse experiences of being-in-the-world.’” Asher studied dance and philosophy, as only a 30 year old named Asher could and would.

Can a man not just dress up like a tree and carry on his live in peace?

Messy breakups, deranged antics, pets gone wild. The Internet car-crash you can’t turn away from. Want more hot messes? “Couple Shooting Engagement Photos In The Woods Encounters Lurking Black Metal Band,” “Drunk Woman Drew Peanut Butter Penises On 30 Cars Outside Of What She Thought Was A Trump Rally,” “Carpool Karaoke Chaos: Man Crashes While Singing Into Dashcam

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