Friday, September 30, 2022

Could Cannabis Help Cure Hillary Clinton’s Case Of Pneumonia?

Being sick sucks. This is not a partisan matter. So, whether you are a bitter but starry-eyed Bernie fan (no judgement!), a know-it-all libertarian (some judgement), or an insurgent Trumpist (*bites tongue*), we hope you will join with us in wishing Hillary Clinton a speedy and compete recovery from her pneumonia!

But is there something we can do beyond offering our sympathy? Yes. We can explore whether or not marijuana could aid in the recovery from pneumonia. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility. In fact, marijuana has been shown in instances to help lung function: The same quality that swells your blood vessels and gives you red eye also opens up the bronchial passages. Obviously, smoke is an irritant, so there has been some interest in a THC spray to treat asthma.

As far as pneumonia goes, however, there are no targeted cannabis studies. When pneumonia does get mentioned in the medical literature, it’s almost exclusively to note that a research subject has died from it during the course of a study. This is a rare event—so there’s that. In fact, a review of adverse effects of medical cannabinoids found no statistical difference in pneumonia deaths between weed-users and non-users. Score one for team cannabis?

In a handful of cases, weed tainted with aspergillus mold has caused a form of pneumonia—but that wasn’t the weed’s fault: It was just a vehicle for that bastard aspergillus. (Lesson: Know your source.)

OK, so weed doesn’t necessarily hurt—but does it help?

Again, there’s no evidence. But we can walk you through a thought experiment. If weed cannot outright kill the microbes that cause pneumonia (and there’s absolutely no evidence it can), then the plant’s anti-inflammatory property would be the most likely benefit. Inflammation is linked to a host of common maladies, including heart attack, arthritis, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, and Crohn’s disease. Maybe easing the inflammation of a pneumonia-stricken lung could be healing?

Alas, no. It’s chronic inflammation that is the problem. In the short term, inflammation is a good thing: It’s a sign that the immune system is doing its job. When marijuana soothes inflammation, it’s actually suppressing the immune system. And that’s a really, really bad idea when you’re fighting a serious infection like pneumonia.

So, should Hillary Clinton smoke some chronic? Our prescription is: Definitely! It won’t do anything to cure her pneumonia, but it might help her mellow out already and connect with voters.

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