When scouring the internet in the final days before your corporate drug test, having finally put the bong in the closet until all is clear, you’ll come across thousands of articles on how to detox your body in time. If you’re searching for all natural solutions, green tea is likely to come up again and again, but does it work?
Green tea is a lot of things aside from a delicious, earthy tasting beverage. It’s primarily known as an antioxidant and it has about a third of the caffeine of a cup of coffee, which is really just right. But the amount of tea you’d have to drink in order to even get a one time joint out of your system would have you bouncing off the walls on a caffeine high and you’d still probably get flagged for dilution.
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So the short answer is no, green tea is not the solution to your drug test. Unfortunately there are few on-the-fly options out there that actually work, and only one that works 100 percent of the time — urine substitution. It might sound tricky, but things have come a long way in the methods of delivery of clean synthetic urine. From discrete tubing to fake penises, look for these replacements at sex shops and online.
What about other types of drinks besides green tea? The masking method does work sometimes, but sometimes it doesn’t. There are a lot of factors that go into passing a drug test and one of the major players is your body mass index or BMI. Most people trying to pass a drug test are trying to get cannabis’ leading cannabinoid THC out of their systems and THC loves a comfy fat cell. It’ll stay lodged there for 30 days or more, depending on your BMI. The reason this matters with masking is that you can only mask so much. If your system is literally inundated with THC, you’re likely not going to pass using a head shop drink.
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The best way to pass a drug test is to be lucky enough to know about it weeks in advance and to have the willpower to then stop cannabis (and other recreational drug use) and flush your body of the molecules over the course of time. Green tea does help in this scenario, as switching between tea and water will help you pee more and will speed up your metabolism with the touch of caffeine, which really gets things moving.
Abstinence for a good period or time and synthetic urine are your safest bets. Green tea is good for an afternoon treat and has health benefits beyond antioxidants even, but it’s not the ticket to passing a drug test.