Look: After everything Lindsay Lohan has endured—self-inflicted wounds and our vicious piranha-like celebrity culture—it’s kind of incredible she’s still alive. Not even alive, but like out and about, having adventures, doing stuff with her life, ya know? She hasn’t given up, not holed up somewhere and stuff. She even has a new movie out this year.
But goodness, it must be tough living as Lindsay Lohan sometimes. According to Lohan’s Snapchat, she lost some a finger this weekend, thanks to a minor boating accident involving an anchor of some kind. (Don’t call it a metaphor, don’t call it a metaphor.) While it’s maybe a metaphor for Lohan’s life (dammit), the Turkish boating accident caused the actress to lose half of her finger temporarily. It was almost lost, but an emergency room visit with a Turkish plastic surgeon allowed Lohan to reunite with the lost digit.
“Lindsay was enjoying Sunday in the ocean off Turkey when she tried pulling up the boat anchor and became entangled in it.
The anchor pulled her down into the water and she struggled to get back in the boat as she tried untangling herself.
The anchor sliced off the tip of her finger. Her friends went on the hunt and found the detached digit on the deck of the boat. They rushed LiLo to an ER, where a plastic surgeon reattached it.”
The website also has pictures of Lohan’s finger, if you’re interested. Because I’m a masochist who hates himself, I looked. Thanks to my laptop’s webcam and capture software technology, here’s a live look at my reaction:
But, like we said, Lindsay Lohan didn’t actually lose her finger. A dedicated fan captured her Snapchat video post-surgery and uploaded it to Instagram, as well. Thank goodness.
I feel like this is a message to everyone out there but: Please, Lindsay, stop hurting yourself so much. This world beats you up enough. Don’t do more damage than necessary.
Because with that bandaged finger, I must be honest: You can’t sit with us.
Posted By: Brendan Bures