As a character, Jim Lahey was real in the way myths are real. He existed as both fact and fiction. Played by the Canadian actor John Dunsworth who passed away this week at 71, Lahey evolved into a totemic figure, a symbol of being broken and knowing you’ll always be broken like all the things around you, but still trying to fix it anyways. This, we assume, is why he drank.
Few things make us laugh harder than the sight of Jim Lahey, Sunnyvale Trailer Park Supervisor, drinking liquor. We don’t know if he so much consumed liquor or just transformed into it like he was some alcoholic Animorph. He was like Kafka’s vision of Metamorphosis, but drunk.
We're in shock and heartbroken by the sudden loss of our dear friend John Dunsworth. We respect the family's wishes for privacy at this time
— Trailer Park Boys (@trailerparkboys) October 16, 2017
But like the German writer, Lahey was a poet. We swear the things that somehow came out of the man’s mouth shouldn’t be said by any other man. If isolated, we’re not sure if Lahey’s quotes were all that funny. But Dunsworth was so damn committed to his character—you might be shocked to learn Dunsworth was an avid figure in the Nova Scotia theater community—that he so very often had you rolling on the floor pissing your pants.
So to commemorate Dunsworth’s passing, I wanted to remember him in that way. Though he was so very different from his most famous character, Jim Lahey will continue live on in so many of our minds, especially when we’re having a drink. I’ll get out of the way and let Jim Lahey—and the liquor—do the talking.
The 17 best Jim Lahey quotes
1. “I am the liquor.”
2. “After you have one sippy-poo, you gotta have two sippy-poos.”
3. “Nice disguise, Bubs. You might be able to fool the FBI, but you can’t fool the FB-Me.”
4. “I’m mowing the air Rand, I’m mowing the air!”
5. “I’m sober enough to know what I’m doing, and drunk enough to really enjoy it.”
6. “Tick-tock, tick tock. The shit clock’s ticking, Rick.”
7. “You don’t cross my shit line, I don’t cross your shit line. When he told everyone I was drinking again, he crossed the g****** shit line.”
8. “We’re sailing into a shit typhoon Randy. We’d better haul in the jib before it gets covered in shit.”
9. “You know what a shit barometer is, Bubs? It measures the shit pressure in the air. You can feel it. Listen, Bubs. Hear that? Sounds of the whispering winds of shit.”
10. Basically every phrase that included the word “shit,” like shit hawks, shit moths, and shit blizzards.
11. “Randy, I’ve decided to lay off the food for a bit, and go on the booze.”
12. “The liquor will do the driving, then we’ll just kick back on booze control.”
13. “Feelin’ a little sluggish, think I need a snap of the white liquor.”
14. “The liquor’s calling the shots now, Randy.”
15. “Randy, do I ask you to start listening to ‘Stop Eating Cheeseburger’ tapes now?”
16. “Just one more little drinky-poo.”
17. “These things have a way of working themselves out. I’m gonna let the liquor do the thinking.”