No matter how many dates we go on, we can always learn a little something new to help us out during the next round. And if coming up with questions to ask your potentially future partner is a struggle, dating expert Erika Ettin has come to your rescue.
She tells Business Insider that it’s best to keep things light the first time you meet someone. It’s not the time to delve into your date’s divorced, failed relationships or recent unemployment. Says Ettin, “Let’s see if you like each other first … You want to learn who the other person is today. You can get to know them, then learn more about the past.”
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Here are a few questions to skip over when you’re meeting a potential romantic interest for the very first time.
Do You Want Kids?
Desperate much? “Let’s see if you have rapport before you decide to have kids together,” Ettin said. “Don’t put the cart before the horse. One step at a time.”
How Much Money Do You Make?
Nope. Not only is this question rude, it’s incredibly pretentious and intrusive. It’s so annoying, eHarmony pegs this as their number one question to avoid when you’re just getting to know someone.
Why Are You Single?
It may seem like an obvious question to avoid, and while your intention may seem to be tongue-in-cheek funny, it can send the wrong impression to someone who doesn’t know you. Also, what’s wrong with being single?
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“Being single is not a crime,” Ettin said. “In fact, it’s a valid life choice that many people desire … as if one thinks you’ve been single since the day you came out of the womb. The reality is that we never know the other person’s story.”
Some questions you should definitely feel free to ask include:
- What are you looking for in a relationship?
- How long ago was your last relationship?
- What’s something I should know about you?
- What qualities are you looking for in a partner?
You get the idea. Basically, you want to know what you’re dealing with (and if you’ve met someone that’s even ready for a relationship) without completely turning them off. If you’re willing to invest your time into someone special, you need to know certain things about them. How much money they make and why they suck at dating are not included.