When looking for dating advice, divorce lawyers aren’t the first people that come to mind, but they have spent their fair share of time in the presence of struggling couples. While lawyers are not therapists or relationship experts, they should have enough information to help those who are looking for a partner steer clear of people that display clear warning signs.
The Huffington Post interviewed different divorce lawyers on possible red flags, and the advice that they’ve accumulated over the years. Check out some of their best tips:
They’re ready for the next step immediately
Being completely sure that you’re ready to get married to someone you just met isn’t a good thing, even though it sounds kind of romantic. Specialist Liat Sadler says: “It may be an indicator, instead, that this person feels familiar, like old patterns, old obsessions and old problems.”
She recommends looking for someone who at first might not seem like a great fit but who later pushes you and helps you become the best version of yourself.
Lying on their dating profile
Although it’s common for people to paint themselves on a better light while creating a dating profile, when most of the traits that they brag about are fiction it means that person isn’t trustworthy. It’s important to be honest right from the beginning, at least about the personality determining characteristics.
They consider themselves victims of past exes
“If your date describes every single one of their exes as ‘crazy,’ it’s a sign that they cannot take responsibility for their role in relationships,” says Morghan Richardson. This is pretty obvious. Although each relationship is different, we tend to repeat patterns. If the person you’re dating is unable to take any responsibility from past relationships, there’s no reason why they’d do so with you.
Their financial life is a mess
It’s common to joke about being broke (millennials, am I right?) but you must be wary of people who invite you out to dinner but then have no money to pay for their electricity bill. You don’t want to be with someone who’ll drag you down and become a nuisance in terms of money.
They want to spend all of their time together
When people are involved in long term relationships they adapt traits from each other. It’s natural and nice, but there must always be space for them to be individuals first, and have interests of their own. According to Sadler, relationships that start out this way can later become volatile and even violent. “It’s dangerous to date from a place of desperation to be in a relationship. It can feel like a torrid love affair when suddenly you and your new fling are spending every minute together.”