Meditation is a broad term these days. It seems that any chance anyone gets to just relax and contemplate their bad decisions in life is considered meditation. But sometimes, even the most innocent of mind and body getaways gets a little muddled in the taxonomy. Nowadays, simply being in the water on a kayak is considered meditating. It doesn’t take much. Courtesy of the World Travel Guide, here are seven retreats that give a hard side eye to the word “wellness.”
Cryotherapy, Slovakia
Cryotherapy is more of  a medical procedure for people who have health problems. According to their website, Aqua City offers a unique alternative treatment method with extremely low temperature.
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The procedure includes: a maximum three-minute stay in a chamber with an average temperature of -120 ° C followed by 20 minutes of intensive exercise (Kinesitherapy). “Staying in this chamber under medical supervision stimulates the natural production of enzymes and hormones that promote healing, and in your body can ‘start’ self-healing and regeneration.”
Crying Therapy, Japan
Nature’s stress reliever. Also known as “rui-katsu,” the practice of audibly crying in front of people is a thing people do voluntarily.
Kayak Meditation, Mexico
Sea Trek hosts one- to two-week trips throughout the islands of Baja California Sur. Trips run from late October through April when the water is warm(er), the weather is mild and the sunsets are unforgettable (so says their website).
Laughter Yoga, India
A practice involving longs stints of voluntary laughter is based on the belief that making yourself laugh has the same health benefits (cardiovascular health, mood booster) as spontaneous laughter. Made popular by an Indian physician, laughter retreats (referred to as “work outs”) prove that laughter might really be the best medicine. Try not to smile while watching this video:
Orgasmic Meditation, UK
Known as OM, this practice is basically 15 minutes of your partner stroking your clitoris. The goal is to “be present” but there are definitely other things going on. According to TurnOn Britain:
There’s an important distinction that’s worth making between climax and the orgasm state. Climax is a few seconds of physical experience, whereas the state of orgasm is continuous—allowing OMers to access an optimal state of consciousness brought about from the activation of the sex impulse.
When harnessed consciously, says the company, orgasm can enhance us as human beings. “Science and experience agree – orgasm can incline people towards empathy, connection and generosity.
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Orgasm magnifies, intensifies, and vivifies everyday experience not by altering it, but by revealing it in its true nature and has astounding implications for our health, happiness, and relationships.”
Galos Salt Caves, Chicago
The Galos Caves Spa in Chicago swears that the sea microclimate created inside salt caves becomes an oasis of peace and relaxation for citizens of many countries.
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According to their website, visiting salt-iodine caves helps to cure:
- Respiratory system diseases
- Digestive system diseases
- Cardiovascular system diseases
- Dermatological problems
- Nervous system dysfunctions
- Rheumatic diseases
- Inflammation of the upper respiratory system
- Sinus problems
Spa Theme Park, Japan
This is the Disneyland of Spas, for when you actually want to go to a water park, but for whatever reason, can’t. Here, guests can take dips in pools made of coffee, wine, or ramen broth. Like, not metaphorically…literally.
Not super sold on traditional bathhouses and hot springs, Yunessun Spa Resort branched out into more “exotic” bating options like food and drink.
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The resort “offers all of the refreshing spa treatments one might expect from such a relaxation palace, but its theme baths are like nothing else in the world.” You can say that again. There’s a Red Wine Spa (pictured above), a Japanese Sake Spa, a Coffee Spa, and a pepper-water filled Ramen Noodle Spa. “More than just colored water,” says the resort, “these pools are filled with the actual drink. The coffee is brewed in pots and poured into the pool barrel-by-barrel, and the sake and wine baths could even get someone drunk (although drinking any of these waters is highly inadvisable).”
For more crazy wellness retreats, head to World Travel Guide.
