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The Best One-Liners From Anthony Bourdain’s ‘Tonight Show’ Food Trend Rant

Everyone’s favorite food and culture curmudgeon, Anthony Bourdain, taped a segment for “The Tonight Show” where he rated random food and drink trends. As always, Bourdain brought the laughs, but also sparked some serious soul searching by those who actually enjoy the things on his shit list. What does it say about you if you love all of these fads? Asking for a friend. Here are his best take-downs of 9 current popular foods.

1. Truffle Oil

“It’s about as edible as Astro-Glide and made from the same stuff.”

2. Kobe Beef Sliders

“At the very epicenter of Douchedom is the Kobe slider.”

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3. Pastry Mash-Ups

“I don’t eat a lot of pastry, but those Cronuts are damn good.”

4. Juice Bars

“It’s like $19 for a kale shake.”

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5. Brunch

“Brunch is just breakfast with an orange twist and a strawberry fan on it.”

6. Avocado Toast

“I guess it’s good, but I’m not going to get a boner over it.”

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7. Craft Cocktail Bars

“Let’s put it this way: If it takes you longer to make my drink and talk about the drink you’re about to make…then it takes me to drink three of them, there’s something wrong here.”

8. Rare Game Meat

“You probably shouldn’t eat a panda.”

9. Rosé

“Also known as Hamptons juice.”

10. The Verdict

“The worst thing, absolutely, is the Kobe slider…followed closely by truffle oil; both of these things would be glaring, flashing red warning signs that tell you you’re in the wrong place or that something has gone terribly wrong in your life.”

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